(Closed) starting to feel kind of angry.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

When was your most recent conversation about marriage? How did it go? What was the outcome?

If he isn’t on the same page as you- I’d move on or at least move out

Post # 4
Member
651 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was where you are  in November. It is really hard not to get angry. I had a fuming month and a bit, then I exploded at him. We settled down and reaffirmed our goals as a couple, and now I’m back to waiting. It feels lighter now though, so if you can move past the anger it’s actually kind of nice to wait without the pressure of having to plan or do anything. I know it is annoying though when so many wonderful moments pass without a ring. 

Post # 5
Member
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I went through cycles of being exasperated, angry, not caring anymore, etc.  It might be best to talk it out with him, as long as you can make sure that you won’t blow up at him.  That might only push him away. 

Post # 6
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I was where you are until I actually got engaged on the 1st, I so completely understand the “is it going to happen?!” feeling, birthday, christmas, president’s day, you sit there on edge thinking “is this it!” I actually told him during one of our ‘talks’ that his days of surprising me were over because everytime a big event happens or it’s just the 2 of us going out I always think in the back of my mind it’s going to happen.

I got engaged on New Years day but not at midnight, at 2 am, talk about surprise. I remember at midnight thinking “well I guess this isn’t going to happen this time, on to the next holiday.” Afterwards I felt horrible afterward because I had just gotten into a big “conversation” (me crying and yelling) with him about where we were going, how I felt he didn’t care as much as I did and how he was just being immature and didn’t want to take the next step – this is after 8 1/2 years of dating though. I say be patient, try not to get too angry/upset, I wish I had followed that advice but I didn’t.

There’s nothing wrong with talking about it to tell him how you feel. I had to explain that if we didn’t do it soon we would get married and start having children immediately because I don’t want to have children well in to my thirties. That was logical, telling him it’s unfair all my friends who have only been dating 6 months and are now engaged therefore we should be engaged is not. It’s not pretty, I’m not proud but yeah I understand.

Post # 7
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Proposals are very important to guys, please don’t blow upon him bc he might already have something planned. As long as u guys are on the same page about ure goals as a couple I wouldn’t bring it up. Why build up an expectation for every time u go out only to ne let down, then u don’t even enjoy ure dinner bc ure disappointed. And I feel like u would enjoy and be suprised if u just relax about it.

Post # 7
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Double

Post # 7
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

i know how you feel! i’m in the same boat. hang in there.

Post # 7
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

double post.

Post # 8
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again: there are some serious, sporatic, unpredictable phases to waiting.  Someone should really make a flow chart of it all.  Like PP, I’ve good days and bad.  Hopefully, you will reach a point where you can coach yourself to focus and enjoy the good (and even when you get there, expect some sudden angry/hurt moments).  Keep smiling. It’s worth it. 

Post # 9
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

=(. I know how badly this frustration can suck! So besides the practical advice of discussing a timeline and whatnot, I’ll just say I sympathize. Listen to some loud music, go work out, vent in a journal, or whatever will help for the moment. You love your SO, have fun together, and it will be worth it in the long run =) Hang in there.

Post # 10
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

I think alot of us girls go through the angry stage.  I’ve been told “i dont like to plan my life out” bull crap a few times which REALLY makes me furious.  So i can sympathize. 

And its hard not to blow up.  Because all your thinking is “you say you want to marry me so stop making excuses and do it!.”  Its best is to try and keep your mind off of it.  Keep busy.  Go out with friends.  And if you want, be honest.  And say “I’m sorry SO but the longer i wait the more my feelings get hurt.  Because you say you want to marry me but your actions show differently.”

Post # 11
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know exactly how you feel. I was in that phase the summer before I got engaged last yr. Our 6 yr anniversary, he planned something spectacular and went all out. No proposal. My champagne birthday, we went on a family trip to Orlando and he came. No proposal. To make matters worse, a friend of mine got engaged and posted in on FB while we were on our last night there. Needless to say, I was hurt and jealous and I just cried.

In October, he planned a date night and had hinted earlier in the week that was when it might happen. It didn’t. I got angry and showed it, then cried my eyes out that night. The next day, he proposed, on a completely normal day in a completely normal setting. He was going to do it the night before, but he said it didn’t feel right.

It will happen when you least suspect it. Your SO might have it all planned out, but you won’t know until it happens. Hang in there, it will all be worth it.

Post # 12
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

@alwaysamaid:  I’m going to echo@jpalm13. When was your last conversation about marriage and how did it go? Did he give you a timeline? If you know he wants to marry you, then you need to stop getting so angry about it. Let him have the time to plan a good proposal and stop trying to control exactly when you think he should have done it.   

The topic ‘starting to feel kind of angry.’ is closed to new replies.

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