(Closed) Starting to get resentful and wanting to avoid pregnant friends

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I feel your pain. It’s hard but try to stay positive! FX for you bee!

Post # 3
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Ryansgirl:  I get the feeling.

After my miscarriage last year I just had to get off of Facebook completely after a while.  Because it seemed like I could not go a single day without seeing pregnancy/birth announcements.  I started thinking to myself, what does getting on Facebook actually accomplish? To keep abreast with the news of Facebook friends you don’t ever see in person anyway?  What positive things does it accomplish for me? After I realized the answer is “nothing” (friends that I really care about, I’m in contact with off of Facebook anyway), I deleted the app and never looked back. 

I didn’t find myself missing it.  If I need to kill time I have this board! : )

Post # 4
Member
4509 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I get it. I gave up on Facebook entirely after this past holiday season – I’m at the stage where EVERYONE is having babies, so it was getting to too difficult.

It’s okay to feel jealous and wish it was you. It’s also okay to take step back from things like social media and baby celebrations (showers, etc.) if you need to. That was a hard realization for me, but it’s helped.

Post # 5
Member
1034 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

camenae:  +1.

I had to get off Facebook for 6 months after my miscarriage almost 2 years ago. I just couldn’t handle announcements. I haven’t been too active on here since my son was born so I don’t know your personal struggles, but there is nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. It makes you human. I know you would have only avoided one of those announcements if you took a break from social media but every little bit helps! once I gave it up I didn’t really miss it much. Of course, I stupidly went back on it and now am obsessed but ya know… Best of luck to you hon. I hope your time comes soon!

Post # 7
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

I have no idea what it is like to want to be pregnant, so take this with a grain of salt, but you sound pretty harsh and judgmental to some of those women. So what if some announce their pregnancy very early on, or if their boyfriends are not the greatest in your opinion? It still doesn’t make them any less deserving of pregnancy than you. You don’t know what they went through to become pregnant and it is not their fault that you are not in the same boat yet. 

Post # 8
Member
9172 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

sorry you are going through this, it sucks.  taking a break from FB really helped me.  i had unfollowed a lot of friends who were pregnant or with babies.  and then the icing on the cake was 3 announcements the week i had my 3rd iui failure and was getting ready to start ivf.  i had it.  i didn’t need fb to make me sad. so i temporarily closed my account.

 

Buymymixtape:  as someone who has been on both sides.  you are very happy your friends are pregnant and yes, other people struggle to, everyone’s journey is their own.  but it still sucks for you. it is a huge reminder of your struggle and what you have yet to attain and want so badly.

Post # 9
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Buymymixtape:  To me it didn’t sound like she was harsh, just moreso hurt that it’s not her as three pregnancy announcements in one weekend is a lot.  I get it.  But I get the feeling her thoughts are just on her own reflections of jealousy (which she admits) and everyone has had from time to time, including myself.

Ryansgirl:  hope I am correct?! lol

Post # 11
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Ryansgirl:  hugs to you. I also got rid of Facebook. I don’t think it does anything helpful!

Vent away! We all get it!

Post # 12
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m not going to lie-when I see another person make a pregnancy annoucement on facebook I do get a bit jealous… and we aren’t even TTC yet!  I think it is just human nature to envy what you don’t have- regardless of whether you want it or it makes sense for your life.  As long as you don’t let those feelings control you or treat people badly I think it is ok.  If deleting facebook makes that easier for you, it may be a healthier choice.  

Post # 15
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee

Buymymixtape:  I think until you have been through what some of us have,  it’s really hard to compare or judge.

 

Ryansgirl:  it’s ok to have feelings of pain and jealously.  I totally get it.  After struggling through infertility and miscarriage myself.  It’s hard and not fair.  Hug.  I wish there was something I could say to make it all ok but I cant 🙁 

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