Post # 1
Im really confused right now. I just need to vent a bit. First of all planning is not the happy experience I thought it would be. Im at the point where I want someone to do all this for me and wake me up on the wedding day and tell me what to do. My honey doesnt seem interested in helping me. I cant really talk to him about this. He doesnt want to make a big deal out of the day because hes already been married before, but I HAVENT! ..How can I spend the rest of my life with someone who doesnt think their wedding day and future marriage is a big deal? I want to do this. My parents are in their 60’s now and my daddy wants to walk his only daughter down the aisle. I want that so bad. Maybe my relationship has moved too fast. I met him in Feb. and in October we bought a house together. That was almost 4 years ago. Who does that anymore? Im questioning everything now. My Fiance is stressed about work but so am I. Who isnt anymore? Thats all he wants to talk about now is work. My moms health isnt doing so good now too.. I just want to give up on all this. The wedding is a year away but I dont even know if I can go through with this. Sorry about the ranting, Im just upset. Thanks for listening.
Post # 3
Don’t give up!! Most men don’t care to be included in much, but appreciate getting to say what colour they prefer or something of that sort…he’s probably not much different than most everyone elses FI’s.
Also, he may feel a bit embarrassed that he was already married once? I was married before at 21, and now i’ll be getting married again at 30. The only reason I’m not feeling like its wrong to make a big deal is that my first wedding was a cheap backyard thing, I didn’t have showers, no one made much of a deal of it for me. I would feel awkward though if that had been the case, and then I was doing it all again.
Plan your wedding the way you want and make it fabulous for you and your Fiance, and I’m sure that he will be grateful and he will be happy you made the day magical for both of you. Remember that it’s not that he doesn’t want to marry you or spend his life with you, he just maybe isn’t a wedding kinda guy? You should tell him how you feel though, let him know it IS a big deal for you even if he’s “been there done that” and that you would appreciate his support.
Post # 4
My husband really got me upset because he didn’t want to help. He ended up helping with a lot when I could not handle it anymore, but he would get mad, and then I would be all like “why are we freaking getting married then”?
In retrospect I remember him saying ” I am not a girl”. Most men don’t care what color the bouquets are or if the font on the invitation looks right. Do what you can on your own, recruit a few good women, and hopefully once in awhile you can get an opinion or two out of him. Everything is much better between us now that all the PLANNING is over.
If you are really unsure if you have moved too fast, then don’t rush. Don’t do it for your parents if you are not TOTALLY sure he is the one. I have been with my husband now for just about 17 years off and on. I even got married in between to someone else. I knew three years ago that we were meant to be together. So, please make sure before you spend all your time and sanity and money on this.
I wish you lots of luck no matter what you decide.