Post # 1
We are considering moving 2.5 hours away from where we live now to a smaller city. It would mean buying a house a lot sooner than where we currently are and we are expecting our first child in September. Our salaries would stay the same and go a LOT further in the smaller city. We could save more for retirement, pay off our mortgage faster, and not be house poor like we would be in the big city. Our big hesitation is that our social lives are where we live now. Is it going to be isolating to move? Will we make new friends in our late 30s? We are social people but it just seems so hard to meet new people at this stage in life in a new city.
Post # 2
I think you already know (since you’re asking the question) that it’s not going to be a piece of cake to build a new social life. The good news is that you’ll be having a baby. Honestly, nothing brings together people I never thought would be friends more than having a child the same age. Your life will be centered on mommy’s morning out, and your major social events will be kiddie birthday parties, but at the very least, you’ll have a social circle. I imagine it will be different than what you have now, but that’s how life goes when kids enter the picture.
That being said, pick your daycare and childcare arrangements carefully so you and your child will be surrounded by the kinds of people you want to be friends with.
Post # 3
sunworshipbride : I have lived in the same small city for over 5 years and I met lots of new friends when I had my baby. Seek out local mommy groups (mine was a breastfeeding support group) and you’ll meet people. Also try to be as active as you can in your community – I’m a room parent for our daycare, I’ve done work with our local dog park group, I’m very active in our local Buy Nothing Project, etc. I’ve even met neighbors walking my dog, shoveling snow, and having yard sales.
Post # 4
- Wedding: February 2020 - Breckenridge, CO
sunworshipbride : I know this sounds a bit ridiculous but Bumble has a “BFF” version where women can find friends sort of like online dating! It’s pretty cool and a fun way to get to know people in your new area!
Post # 5
sunworshipbride : How small is this smaller city? Will it still have the typical amenities you would expect of a city? I’d imagine moving from a city to a small town would be isolating and difficult, because it’s easy to feel like an outsider moving into a community like that, and there aren’t as many opportunities to meet likeminded people. But if you’re moving to what is still a “city”, it’ll be much easier to transition.
If you guys are into sports maybe you could join a rec leage in your new town. Or find out if there are any local groups dedicated to some hobby or subculture you’re into. If you’re religious, there’s always church. Even in a smaller city, you should be able to find some kind of social network to plug into that relates to your interests.
Post # 6
Moving away from friends is always rough, but I do think you have some factors that will mitigate this: 1) you’ll be moving with your husband and you’ll have a baby soon, so you have built in family 2) once you have a baby your social life will change anyway, and 3) you’ll only be a few hours away from your friends, so you’re not too far for a weekend visit, especially if meeting in the middle would be possible.
You can also always stay connected with friends through phone calls or skype dates – this doesn’t have to mean starting from scratch with a whole new social circle. You may also find that you only really need one or two mom friends or workout buddies in your new area and that you’ll continue to lean on your friends in your old city. Besides all that, if you and your husband are social people it’s likely you’ll continue to seek out and attract other social people in your new area. You’ll meet people organically through your jobs, hobbies, etc.
On the other hand, I also don’t think it’s wrong to prioritize your social connections and sense of familiarity in the current city over having more space and lower cost of living somewhere else. It’s really just a matter of priorities – especially since it seems from your post like you’ll be able to buy a house sooner or save more somewhere else but you’re currently able to save some and will eventually be able to buy in your current area. Moving to a new place is stressful and can be isolating, so I’d also take that into account, especially since you’re already looking at your life changing a lot with the new baby. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong here. It really depends on your tolerance for change and what you value. It’s not wrong to put your friendships and comfort level over savings, even though that might be the economically logical thing to do. Lots of people stay in their expensive cities for this reason.