Post # 1
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
I’m a bridesmaid and i just found out the bride is not providing any food for me at the wedding. i am very offended as we have been friends for years and she is very aware of my vegetarianism (and how grumpy i get when i haven’t eaten) i took off the day from work and will be helping her potentially all afternoon (making eating before i go to the wedding difficult) i’m a bridesmaid so i’m obviously going to be very busy that day.
the bride and groom are (take out) catering BBQ with no options what-so-ever (so no special requests to whip me up something from the kitchen) with two sides (only one i can eat and no one can make a meal of coleslaw) i’m offended and don’t know what to do. i know how stressed out i was before my own wedding and i don’t want to make things harder but i also know i would NEVER have expected anyone to go hungry at my own wedding, especially a close friend.
do i confront the bride or just bring my own food? not eating is not an option!
Post # 3
Member
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@vegetariangirl: Wow, really? They’re not doing anything for vegetarians? I guess bring your own food? I’ve honestly never heard of something like this. I’d ask your friend and see what she says, maybe it’s just an oversight on her part.
Post # 4
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@vegetariangirl: Wow. So so thoughtless of her! I really feel for you. Maybe if the food casually comes up you could say something like “Oh, so should I pack a lunch or something?”, like you just need to clarify. Maybe she actually totally forgot? Or maybe something like “Am I the only vegitarian? Only because I wondered if they knew they should eat before the reception.”
Post # 5
Hostess
8572 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Maybe you could ask if you can bring in some dishes of your own? Just let her know there’s nothing there you can eat, and offer to whip up some of your own dishes for you, and other guests to enjoy.
It won’t cost her any more money [I’m guessing they are trying to keep it on the low cost side, since there are only 2 sides], and you’ll get to eat!
It is kind of strange that she didn’t take into consideration any vegans, unless you are the only one.
Post # 6
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
You must be the only vegetarian she has coming. I would just pack some food. You could ask her if she has an options for you, but don’t push the issue.
Post # 7
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee
Ya, thats rude. If she isnt willing to provide anything for you, I guess just bring your own food. Thats super annoying of her though.
Post # 8
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
That’s awful, I’d be pissed if I was you. She has you as a bridesmaid, knows you’re a vegetarian, and won’t get you another food option? I get cranky from not eating too, but I’d have another reason for being cranky that day, due to her not caring if I ate or not!!! That is so rude, sorry OP. I’d confront her for sure.
Post # 9
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@vegetariangirl: That is pretty bad of her to do that when she knows you are vegetarian. We are making sure to provide a hearty salad alongside our BBQ buffet even though we don’t expect any vegetarians at the wedding. If we knew someone with a specific issue, we would probably add at least one more hearty side of grilled /steamed veggies or maybe portobello mushroom tops so they could make them into veggie burgers. It is difficult to accommodate everyone but knowing that a bridesmaid will be going without a decent meal just sounds mean.
I guess you will need to pack a meal for yourself since she expects you to starve.
Post # 10
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
Why do you have to “confront” her – can’t you just ask her nicely if there are going to be any options that can be made for you, or if you should bring some food for yourself? Maybe she forgot to follow up your preferences with the caterer or you’re her only veg attendee? Try not to take it personally.
Post # 11
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
You need to talk to her about it. This would be completely unacceptable even for guests. But you’re a bridesmaid for goodness sakes!!!
Post # 12
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
Ugh, that’s rude. I love my meat, but I have a bridesmaid and her family that is vegetarian and we’re offering many different vegetarian options for cocktail, the stations, AND the main course. That’s pretty bad of your bride. :/
Post # 13
Member
2947 posts
Sugar bee
How rude of her! I would let her know and ask her what you are meant to eat?
i would probably bring my own food which seems crazy to have to do that
Post # 14
Member
2211 posts
Buzzing bee
Did she tell you that she wasn’t going to provide you any food, or are you just assuming that based on the fact that the meal is catered BBQ? If the former, that’s very rude and inconsiderate of her – especially since you are part of her bridal party! If the latter, I would ask her (not confront her) what she’s planning on offering to her vegetarian guests, including you.
Maybe she just hasn’t thought through the fact that some of her guests don’t eat meat, or she hasn’t clued you in to her alternate plans for the vegetarians who will be attending yet.
Post # 15
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
Leave early and treat yourself to a yummy dinner that you can eat.
I can’t eat gluten and I don’t eat red meat or pork, so I’m often in situations where I can’t eat what’s being served but that’s usually because people don’t know that I have restructions. In that situation, I don’t make a big deal out of it but I have to say that if a good friend knew that I had restrictions and basically told me to eff off when I brought it up, I’d just leave and take myself out to dinner.
Post # 16
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
Honestly, I think that it’s incredibly rude not to offer choices in this day and age, budget or not. A gracious host would always consider the needs of guests, especially her dearest friends (such as the bridal party)! I would bring it up directly but respectfully, as others above have suggested….but would NOT offer to bring my own food. If a dear friend didn’t have a care to consider my needs and expect me to bring my own food to her wedding, I would seriously reconsider the friendship AND attending the wedding.