(Closed) Stay at home Dads?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d have no issue with it besides the fact that Darling Husband has no desire to be a Stay-At-Home Dad.

I don’t know that it is really any different than SHAMs though.  So long as you can make enough money to support you both!

Post # 4
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We’re seriously considering this. My job will always pay much more, and once I actually pass the CPA exam, I can make quite a bit of money. At the same time, I have absolutely zero desire to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. If we can swing it, we’ve talked about some day having my husband jus work part time to finance day care and keep his sanity, and the rest of the time stay home with any future kids.

Post # 5
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We have discussed this too!  B works with very young kids & loves it.  He is so patient & energetic!  I make more money than he does, and I have a better benefits package, so it makes sense for me to work & carry our health coverage & for him to stay home (or work only part time).  He seems to really like the idea, and honestly I’m not really big on the “kids” thing to begin with, so IF we do have kids, the whole Stay-At-Home Dad idea sounds great to me 🙂

Post # 6
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Darling Husband has brought up being a Stay-At-Home Dad but he also seems to think that he’d be able to work from home. He’s a software developer so trying to code an app and tend to a baby at the same time is impossible. We’ve agreed that we’ll go the Stay-At-Home Mom route instead but there’s nothing wrong with being a Stay-At-Home Dad if thats what works for your family.

ETA: Now that I think about it, I guess he wouldn’t be considered a “SAHD” since he would still be working. So, nevermind. 

Post # 7
2822 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, whatever works for your family. My FI doesn’t want to stay home, we’ve talked about it and I don’t want to stay home either.

Post # 8
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

If it works for the couple then why not?!  FI and I decided if it’s best for us, then I can be a Stay-At-Home Mom.  He’ll be the breadwinner once his plumbing business builds more clients.

Post # 9
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Darling Husband is desperate to be a Stay-At-Home Dad, I wouldn’t have a problem with it assuming our quality of life wouldn’t suffer. Will Arnett on Up All Night is his hero.

Post # 11
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It wouldn’t work for us – part of what I love about my husband is his desire to succeed in his career, much like mine – but I think with the right man it could be nice. If it did ever happen to us, he’d be a work-from-home dad that also pulled kid duty.

In your case, are you ok with it and do you make enough $ for it? Same questions I’d ask of a man whose wife wanted to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.

Post # 12
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Darling Husband said he’d be happy to be a Stay-At-Home Dad if made a lot of money. Unfortunately, I don’t!

Post # 13
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

We have (and still are) seriously considering this for when we have kids. I have much more earning potential, so it financially makes more sense for me to be working than for me to be a Stay-At-Home Mom, and it’s pretty important to us both that our kids aren’t in daycare when they are young (just a preference). Fiance is the cook in our household anyways, the only thing that we’d have issues with is cleaning. I am the neat-freak, he is definitely not. So that’d be something to throw a kink in our happy arrangement.

Also, my (future) job is a M-F kind of deal, so I couldn’t work part-time on weekends or anything if we needed extra money. FI’s job is one where he can work all kinds of hours, so likely he’d be a Stay-At-Home Dad during the week and pick up jobs in the evenings or on the weekends when I could be home. That way neither of us have huge resume gaps, because he’ll still technically be working, and we’ll still have the money we want/need.

Post # 14
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It would never work for our situation, lol.  He would feel terrible and antsy all day long not being able to work and be the provider, and I would resent him for being at home all day, cleaning and cooking and taking care of kids (which is what I want! lol) when I had to work and support us both by myself.  One of the reasons we get along so well and our relationship works is we balance each other out and him being a stay at home dad would just be the opposite of what we both want lol

However, if it works for your fam why the hell not?

Post # 15
2889 posts
Sugar bee

We joke that Darling Husband will be a Stay-At-Home Dad and I think part of him likes the idea but in reality, it would not be a good idea. The joke is that he thinks I will be making more money than him which is funny because he is already in a sucessful career and I am still in grad school. I think it would be terrible because my Darling Husband is not a friend of veggies and does not deal well with crying babies. Maybe this will all change when we have our own.

I don’t think I could SAH because I like advanced planning and feel I owe myself a career after spending so long in school. However, we are planning to TTC in 2 years so maybe by then things will change. We both had a Stay-At-Home Mom for the majority of our childhoods (each oldest children with a significant gap between the first and last) and would like to avoid day care in the early years. My answer is to hire a relative to be the day time care giver and I have 3 aunts in the retirement range I would consider but none of them live close by.

Post # 16
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I know people who this has worked for and that wonderful. If you prefer to have someone stay at home instead of day care I don’t think it should matter if it’s the mother or father. In our case I make more than Darling Husband and have better benefits, but he has more earning potential since he is self employee. But Darling Husband does not cook, clean, or do any domestic chores. If he stayed home then I couldn’t imagine what my home would look like and what our kids would eat. So in our situation I would like to stay at home for a few years and he will be the breadwinner.

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