Stay-at-Home-Mom regrets?

posted 1 month ago in Parenting
Post # 46
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Canada

My daughter just turned 12 months and I’m going back to work in 2 weeks.  I cant imagine going back at 4 months.  The hormones alone wouldn’t have let me!  The first year is SO precious.  They are growing and learning at such a rapid rate and as others have said, you don’t get this time back.  Jobs come and go.  Being gone from your sweet babe for 12+ hours per day seems unfathomable to me.   Your hubs is on board and supportive, your finances are in place.  You are so lucky to be in the situation where you CAN choose to stay home.  Even after a year. I’d stay home in a heartbeat if I could.  

Post # 47
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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@dianaj17:  totally agree with you. I went back to work 3 days per week when my son was 15 months old. It was the right balance for us, and we’re lucky to live in a country where this is easy enough to do.

There are options (if you can afford them) that fall between going back full time at 12 weeks, and staying out of the workforce for 12 years.

Post # 48
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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@tastastic:  unfortunately, I’m in a pretty niche field in an area without a lot of opportunities, and we definitely can’t afford for me to not work for more than 3-5 months (though my job will only allow 3, sigh), nor does my husband have ANY interest in being the sole breadwinner. I’m hoping to be able to negotiate down to 30 hours per week when the time comes, though! 

Post # 49
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

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@dianaj17: Oh gosh I agree, that line grinds my gears!! I have had a male coworker say that to me recently actually, I had made a comment on the cost of daycare being a struggle since we all got a 10% paycut (so I suppose my fault for bringing it up) and he went there. “Oh my wife stays home so we don’t have someone else raising our daughter for us.” Excuse me!? I am no less of a mother because my son is in an educational / school based daycare. 

Yeah I may be the oddball out for sure but I couldn’t WAIT to go back to work at 3 months post partum. I was also on strict bed rest for the 3rd trimester so it was 6 months at home, 3-4 of those months barely able to move at all, and I was over it and ready to be a human of my own again. For us, it was so much easier putting him in daycare at 12 weeks old the first time than putting him back in daycare after 5 months out when he was 9 months old. The first time, he had no idea we were leaving him. The second time, the separation anxiety was actually a lot harder for him. But he is thriving in that environment! We didn’t know what to do with a 4 month old that lays there all day. I am educated but not in that department. Sure you can play, do tummy time, etc… but for the entire day I was so lost. I have no issues saying I trust the professionals to educate my son just as much as people trust my education to build safe airplanes. 

Post # 50
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

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@aeroforceone:  Glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what to do with my 3.5 month old.  Sure, I do forced tummy time which he hates and make faces at him and respond to his “talking” but he’s essentially a smiley, cooing lump!

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