Post # 1
here is my situation:
in 4 weeks, i will no longer be a nanny that works 50-60 hour weeks!! AND I AM SO THANKFUL! i will be able to spend three months leading up to the wedding with a huge load of stress lifted off of my shoulders. i am looking forward to working on my health, having time to get in shape to fit into my dress, wedding plan with crossing off to do’s from the list and more!
there are obviously going to be changes in our lifestyle when we are going to be on 1 income. we own a townhome + 2 new 2011 cars & 2 dogs. right now, we are doing really well financially, paying for things + the wedding + fun trips such as cruising. i am a nanny, so my income isnt $$$$ but its not $ either. i thought i make pretty good money! (i was a preschool teacher, but this family paid more than i was making doing that!)
i was wondering. those of you who do stay home – fiance, wife or mother – what adjustments did you and your man/partner do to make it work?! or if you didnt have to make many changes, if you dont mind sharing – what salary ball park range are you in that makes it comfortable?!
any tips or any thing would be great! i do imagine myself getting restless and bored after the wedding – so ill want to look for something i enjoy doing again to take up some time. it will just be so nice to do something i LOVE rather than be stuck with a job that i hate just because of the pay. & my reasons for not working these next few months, are mainly health related. after august – fiance and i will IMMEDIATELY be TTC so i want to do everything right in these leading months to increase our chances the best we can. (& Fiance ultimate goal is to have his wife be able to stay at home with the babies if she wanted too… which was my dream growing up!)
thank you bees!
Post # 3
I am currently a stay-at-home wife and have been for the last two years since relocating to be with Darling Husband and his children. I had to quit my lucrative job in my city to finally join my new family full time in a small town in a very rural area of another state. Before I quit my job, our houshold income would have been midway through your list of options.
However, since I quit my job, we are living on DH’s salary. Since he is a pastor in a small town, our household income is currently lower than the bottom option on your list.
Post # 4
i think it all depends on location. Some places 50K is nothing and other places its upper middle class lol I was a stay at home wife for a while and our income was lower than whats listed. We have a very nice house, lots of land, nice vechicles and live comfortably!
Post # 5
A lot lower than what’s listed!
Where I live, the average household income is about 40-50k
Post # 6
I’m working now but once we have a kid, I’ll be home for at least a year. H just got a promotion and raise equivelant to my entire salary, so as long as we don’t change our spending habits, taking my salary out of the equation hopefully won’t make too much of a difference. We live in a major metro area, so things are very expensive here.
Post # 7
@foodnerd81: hi! from what it sounds like, our situations are similar. we arent in california or anything… minnesota – but the twin cities. so maybe a little “spendier” than other places in mn. nothing too insane but nothing that ive ever felt is ridiculously cheap either! lol. my Fiance just started a new job 4 months ago and the pay increase is based on clientelle as he is a financial advisor/planner now but he’ll come out on top of what he was making at his previous+my nanny job now. so i hope we will be alright!
thanks bees for the input!
Post # 9
Have you been keeping a budget or can you go back and look at your bank account statements and make a spreadsheet of each category or how much you are spending per month on average. I kept a budget for a year to get a true picture of where we need to be. Darling Husband and I have figured out a number, but since we have a home, 2 new cars etc., if I stayed home vacations wouldn’t really be realistic right away. But we live in Boston and the cost of living is extremely high so while we will get by comfortable without vacations on our budget, in other parts of the country we would be considered very wealthy. So for us it would be about $120k for me to stay home.
Post # 10
@wifegoodman: I’ll be interested to see all these responses as well.
We live in the NW suburbs of Minneapolis and we have talked over the idea of me staying home once we have kiddos (maybe even sooner), and I think it’s definitely do-able in our area.
The only real hitch in our plans is that he can’t get health insurance through is employer…at least not anything that can be extended to other family members, and even his coverage is limited to bare-bones stuff.
My job is our “benefits job” right now because I don’t make nearly as much as he does, but I will be able to add him to our full-coverage health insurance once we are married.
Post # 11
I still work now but when we have kids, I’ll be staying at home. By that point in time, Darling Husband will be making over $100K by himself.
Post # 12
@wifegoodman: It is very interesting to me that the poll starts at $60k. There are a lot of people that live on less than that, especially in more rural areas. My friend is a stay at home mom and her fiance makes much less than 60k, and they own a home, have nice cars, and live very comfortably.
I am now staying at home because I had to quit working at 20 weeks pregnant. We have had to make a lot of concessions… we basically just pay our bills and buy groceries and what baby necessities we need, and that’s about it. We don’t buy clothes, don’t go out to each much, and definitely don’t go on fancy trips. When we want to splurge (we just bought a new piece of furniture and a tablet), we just save for a month or two and use all our fun money for that month on the one big purchase.
We are thinking about getting rid of cable just because we don’t use it much. We also have two car payments and could getrif of one of those if worse came to worse. We have a mortgage and student loans to pay too. Darn bills!
Post # 13
Not a SAHW/M, but we’ve discussed the SAHM/D situation briefly. Around our area, the median household income is 48K, so it would definitely be doable on my future salary, and maybe on Mr.ND’s if he got a different job in a few years (right now he’s in his ‘gaining experience’ job, so isn’t not amazing pay, but he loves it).
If you’re in MSP, there are TONS of volunteer opportunities, and hopefully some public transit options (unless you’re keeping 2 cars, then it’s no worry). That could be a great way to fill your free time so you’re not restless. You could also pursue a hobby, espcially one that you can sell or donate so you’re sort of balancing out the spending for it (doing crafts and selling on etsy, volunteering to visit elderly, babysit, etc). Definitely bone up on budgeting and be concious of where the money is going. I grew up with less than was necessary, but we learned really quickly how to find the best deals and save as much as possible, it’s almost like a challenge/game!
Post # 14
I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife (soon to be SAHM) and was in a similar situation to you. Darling Husband and I were long distance between Australia and the US. Last year, I gave up my teaching job and moved to Australia to be with Darling Husband. I was only going to be there for 3 months before heading back to the States for 2 months to finalise the plans for the wedding etc, so I didn’t bother looking for a job during that time. I’d also had a very stressful inner city middle school teaching job so I definitely didn’t mind the time to relax and regain my sanity!
After the wedding, we returned to Australia and I started job searching not long after. We knew we were going to start TTC pretty soon but didn’t want to put off a job for that. I landed a job pretty quickly but just before I started, DH’s work moved him to a project in a new city 6 hours away, so I ended up having to turn the job down. It actually worked out for the best as I found out the following week that we were pregnant.
Since being in our new city, I haven’t looked for a job as there’s no point. We’ve always planned on me being a Stay-At-Home Mom and this has worked out just fine. We’ll be moving back to our old city in a few weeks anyway.
In terms of finances, Darling Husband and I are fortunate enough that he is in a very good career field and makes an extreme healthy salary. We were at the higher end of the range you posted and our lifestyle has not changed. We have taken a number of big trips in the past year and a bit since I moved down here, we also were going out for dinner at least once per week whilst in Brisbane (not so much here as there aren’t many places to go), and had the funds available to do whatever we wanted. We are renting a house right now, but rental prices are higher than most mortgage payments in the States (nearly $2000 per month in rent). We still put more than half of DH’s take home paycheck in our savings account and will have enough for a healthy down payment when we move back to the northern hemisphere at the end of the year or early next year.
In terms of what to do – I’d look at volunteering or finding a job you’d be interested in without worrying about the salary. Neither are options available to me where we’re living, so I’ve been keeping myself entertained by completing a lot of projects that have been on the to-do list for ages and will likely never get done if they aren’t done before the baby arrives (namely photo books etc). To be honest, I have missed working a bit but once the baby comes, I will be happy as happy can be to not have to return to work.
Post # 15
I also find it interesting that you started the scale at $60k… could you adjust that? You might get some more responses.
Post # 16
@MissDareDevil: I am surprised to see so many that are making it work under 60k. It makes me feel less stressed-less worried about not working and us sticking to my fiances salary. Fiance had a full scholarship to college, but i didnt. I have plenty of loans out – STUPID BILLS! I feel you there. We dont have a baby on the way yet, but are finishing with the wedding planning and those payments. We might need to go the adoption/surrogate route – which is A LOT of money so were debating on already saving for that as well. Thank you!