(Closed) Stay at home parent / earning potential. HELP!

posted 5 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Do you make more money than your SO? Are you/planning on being a SAHM?
    I make/will make more money & I am/will be a SAHM. : (10 votes)
    6 %
    He makes/will make more money & I am/will be a SAHM. : (39 votes)
    22 %
    I make/will make more money and he is/will be a SAHD. : (13 votes)
    7 %
    He makes/will make more money and he is/will be a SAHD. : (2 votes)
    1 %
    Neither of us will stay home. : (89 votes)
    51 %
    We make equal amounts of money. : (23 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    488 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Both of us work (we have children from previous relationships). I could personally never be a Stay-At-Home Mom, I’m not cut out for it. However, I am a huge advocate for making sure you have some sort of work experience. For me, its not even about the money its about protecting myself in the event something disastrous happens.

    Post # 4
    9139 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @lawbride88:  I make significantly more money than he does and I plan to continue working after we have a child.  We have discussed him taking on the roll of a SAHF when the time comes due to the cost of daycare.

    I will say that I am an attorney employed by the State so I don’t make as much asI would in private practice.  Bear in mind that if you do go and get a high powered corporate law firm job that you will probably never be home.  I know a few women attorneys through my local bar that work for big firms and they spend 80-120 hours per week in the office (nights, weekends, holidays…)  One of them never goes out when we go out as a group with spouses because she would rather stay at home with her kids when she has free time (her husband usually comes out without her and I feel sorry for him because he probably gets even less time with his wife than the kids do.)

    I make about half of what they do but my benefits package is better (cheaper insurance, 7 weeks of paid vacation that I am encouraged to use, up to 6 months maternity leave, etc…) and I only work 8am-5pm Monday through Friday.

    Would I like to make more money?  Sure.  But we live very comfortably and I would much rather have less money and spend more time at home with my FH and our future child.

    Post # 5
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @lawbride88:  How does your Fiance feel about it?

    I guess I’ve never really understood pursuing a degree (let alone a hugely expensive one) just to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.  It sounds like you plan to return to the workforce eventually but with no practical working epxerience after your degree, I’m not sure how that would impact your job/career prospects both immediately and long term.

    If your Fiance is supportive and you’re okay with the long term impact to your career and earning potential, then do what makes you both the most happy. 

    If your Fiance isn’t on board, then you should probably reassess your plan.  I also think its wise to be able to support yourself and any children you have in the event the unthinkable happens and you HAVE to return to the workforce before you intended and that likely means having real world, marketable experience. 

    Post # 7
    1293 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    @lawbride88:  I’d love to be home too, but I’m in the same boat as you – practically, it just isn’t possible. We love our quality of life now and don’t want that to change. With the added expense of a child, we will need 2 incomes (especially mine). I want to be able to go on family trips, sign my kids up for hockey, buy a cottage, etc. Logic has to outweigh emotion in my situation and I am going to have to keep working 🙁

    I am currently in a position where I work from home, but that’s not all roses and butterflies. I still have to get my work done so I can’t be spending all day and night with baby. Plus, my situation is likely to change in the near future.

    Post # 8
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’m a scientist. Staying home with a child for more than a year or two would basically make me obsolete. I would be missing out on too much in the way of technology and protocol evolution. I make about $20k less than my husband, and since we live in the San Fran area, we can’t afford for him to stay home either. So, we’ll be coughing up the $1800/mo average daycare cost per kid and going to work!

    Post # 11
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Ooh, I love this bakery idea you have!

    I make more than my Fiance and have more earning potential, although he will likely surpass me in 10 years. Our household income is quite strong at the moment, and I may be a part time Stay-At-Home Mom, but I also do lots of international travel for work. That can’t really change (except when I’m nursing) unless I risk my career, so we are planning to hire a full time nanny to care for the kid(s) and cook and clean for us down the road. With both of us working full time at jobs that pay well, it will be an affordable expense.

    Post # 12
    1623 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Is part-time for you a possiblity?  I don’t know if that’s possible as an attorney, but maybe?  Or some position where you’re still in the law field, but just not required to work so many hours?  We’re newly pregnant (6 weeks), but after maternity leave I will propose to work in the office 3 days/week,  work 1 day from home (so four working days total) and have one day off.  Then I can be home 2 days with our baby and s/he will only be in daycare 3.  

    Neither of us make a significant salary as Darling Husband is a teacher and I am in a marketing coordinator role for a small, private company.  I think it’s a matter of living within the means/lifestyle/budget you set.  Some people can make due and live really simple lives, while others like more luxurious things.  You just have to figure out which you and adjust your career to follow. 

    Post # 16
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @lawbride88:  same dilema here. Ivy league law grad and MBA ….May I make a suggestion…find yourself a really good part time. While you are at home take cases on your own keep the money flowing but choose your own rithm. That way when you want to go back to the big law firms you will have the experience but you wont have lost precious years with your babies.


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