(Closed) Stay-At-Home… Wife?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 137
Member
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I dont really have much else to say on the topic except I think its ok eitherway. Ive been on both sides of the spectrum. I just wanted to add that not everyone thats a stay at home wife sits around all day because theres only so much to do….Im sure that applies for some…. We have a farm so there is ALWAYS something to do weither its in the house or on the land. There are other personal reasons for being home. Im sure everyone has a deeper reason why… I dont feel the need to put that on here but thats what works for us. Like someone else said…. If you arent paying my bills, dont worry about it! 😀

I dont think anyone is better than the person next to them because the work or dont work. God loves us all 🙂

 

Post # 138
Member
9814 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@soyjoy222: Exactly. I’m not saying anyone is paying someone else to raise their kids or something ridiculous like that. When you look at your overall earnings and stack it up against how much it costs to keep kids in daycare full time (a LOT of money), sometimes it’s just not worth it. It wasn’t for us. If it was I’d be working.

Post # 139
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@KatyElle: “It just makes me laugh. I know what the discussion is supposed to be about”

 

Ummm… it’s supposed to be about wherever it goes.

Post # 140
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@MrsRuby: I think if you’re working the farm, you’ve got a job… being a suburban Stay-At-Home Wife is very different than being a farmer. Or even a Stay-At-Home Mom.

Post # 141
Member
9814 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@fembride045: Cool! Thanks so much for letting me know that 🙂

Post # 142
Member
5294 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

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@fembride045: pretty sure @KatyElle’s comment was directed toward another poster who thought she was going-off topic. In other words….wherever the discussion goes.

Post # 143
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

I would go off my rocker in about 3 weeks.  I had 2 weeks off between semesters when I was unemployed and I was about to lose it.  If you’re used to getting out and about and doing things all day, sitting around at home 7 days a week is going to be tough.  The idleness will eat your brain.

Perhaps if you can afford to stay at home, you could instead take a low paying part time or volunteer position?  That way you spend less time with the daily grind but you have something to do during the day.  2 people just don’t make enough mess or eat enough food for you to count on having something besides TV or internet to keep your mind active and occupied.  Bonus points since that something is worthwhile and helps people.  Ideas would be a hospital, foster home, women’s shelter, animal shelter, mental hospital (I do that for extra credit in school–it’s actually a lot of fun), nursing home, elementary school and homeless shelter. 

The other good thing about volunteering is that you’re still out in the workforce so if you have to go back to work for financial reasons, your resume won’t have a giant gap in it and you’ll have a better chance of getting a good job.  Also, being idle and not having to problem solve or interact with strangers often is really bad for your brain, especially as you age.  People who keep their minds active tend to have reduced and later onset of dementia or Alzheimer’s then people who just sit around and watch TV all day. Also people who are bored tend to stir up drama and trouble–just because their brain starts overreacting to things because it’s got nothing else better to do.

Post # 144
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What I want is to not have to work 40 hours a week.  If I could only work 3 days a week, or only work 4 hours a day, that would be so nice.  And I could definitely manage to live on just half of my current salary.  But it seems like most part-time jobs are all low-skill, low-pay sorts of jobs.  The business world doesn’t seem to subscribe to anything other than 40-hour weeks.

Post # 145
Member
3180 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Fiance have a “plan” that when/if I get a decent job after I graduate law school he is going to go down to being a part time pharmacist/part time stay at home husband.  The problem is I would have to be making a pretty hefty salary to justify that drop in his income BUT I think it would be awesome to come home and have the house clean and dinner ready.  Probably won’t ever happen though, because it would make more economic sense to pay someone to come in and do that stuff. 

Post # 146
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

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@nerdface: I agree. Being alone all day in the house without social interaction can’t be healthy. I know you’re technically not alone if you have children, but children are no substitute for adult interaction.

Also, as a stay-at-home wife you’ll be dependent on your husband for social interaction, as for most people it’s not realistic to expect friends and family to come and visit you every day, and I don’t think that’s good for the relationship either.

Post # 147
Member
3180 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think some people take “stay at home wife” a little too literally.  I interpret it to mean that you don’t work outside of the home.  That leaves room for social groups, volunteering, and all kinds of activities that don’t actually involve you staying at home. 

Post # 148
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

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@BellsforHer: This hits so close to home. My mother quit her job in 1979 when my sister was born. She planned to go back, but then I was born in 85 and she’s just never gone back. Being around her can be extremely frustrating because she just hasn’t had the social experience for the last 30 some-odd years. I worry about what would happen to her if anything should happen to my dad because she has no modern job skills or savings or anything of her own. She’s entirely dependent on my father and is constantly complaining about it.

Honestly I think it’s part of the reason I AM so career driven and don’t even want to entertain the idea of being a stay at home mother some day. The idea of my life turning out like hers just scares me to death.

Post # 149
Member
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@Natalieh86: This exactly.

Or they run a small business out of their home (etsy, Thirty One, Mary Kay etc) part time or whenever they feel like it…

When I hear “stay at home wife” I dont think of someone literally being a hermit shut antisocial person being inside  ALL day EVERYDAY.

 

Post # 150
Member
9814 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Has no one ever heard of social outings? Trips to the park and playground? Mommy and Me? Dear lord, when did work become the only time adults see each other?

Post # 151
Member
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t know that I would be exactly a Stay-At-Home Wife, but earlier this year I left my fulltime job to help my husband run his longtime family busines. Up until about 2 months ago I was quite busy helping him, but right now we are in a part of the business cycle when I don’t have much to do so for the most part I am home or just doing things as needed. But as someone mentioned, it’s not like I’m a hermit inside my house. I have a lot of free time and flexibility.  I think honestly it boils down to what works for that couple/family and it is primarily driven by finances.

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