(Closed) Stay-At-Home… Wife?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 152
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

@MrsRuby: Or they run a small business out of their home (etsy, Thirty One, Mary Kay etc) part time or whenever they feel like it…

 

Do you really think it is the norm for stay-at-home wives to run their own businesses from home? Setting up a business like that requires a lot of time and money, as it takes a few years for most businesses to generate income. Most people don’t have the resources to do it without having a job or a very high-earning husband, not to mention the business skills required.

Post # 153
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@KatyElle: Well just to clarify, I don’t think SAHWs are anti-social hermits with no social skills. But I know I spend most of my time outside of work with my co-workers, AKA friends in the off-hours. And I have a friend who moved a few states north by herself, and she’s had a REALLY hard time finding friends because she doesn’t connect with others at work (and there’s not a whole lot of time for her to make other friends). Mommy and Me/Playground/Park dates don’t really apply for others who do not have children, such as the OP/SAHWs. So yeah, I think social outings become limited when you don’t have something you go to every day (or even week… although my friend leads a gym class and has yet to make real connections there either).

Post # 154
Member
2950 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@BellsforHer:  I never said it was the “norm” for stay at home wives to do this but quite a few Stay-At-Home Wife I know do have an etsy business or do mary kay or something on the side. You do NOT have to have a business background to do these or tons of time and money….. thats the luxury of it.  Its not always gonna pay their rent and all the bills but its something to do to interact with others, have fun and earn a little extra money on the side. Not everyone that stays at home has a husband that is a high income earner and thats fine too. Everyones finances are diff… Place of Living has alot to do with it as well… not everyone has to open their own little business either….   I dont know why your so critical of it. If its not for you fine, but get over it and stop putting others down for their choice. Geeze!!!

Post # 155
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsWrangler: I was referring to this comment “Being alone all day in the house without social interaction can’t be healthy. I know you’re technically not alone if you have children, but children are no substitute for adult interaction.”

Just another example. I’ve heard it all! People who choose to be alone all day are alone all day. People who want to get out and forge relationships can find a way to do it, it’s not really that difficult.

People just seem really quick to write you off as a hermit because they don’t like your choice.

Post # 156
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@KatyElle: Well, that statement is a little overarchingly stereotypical, but it can definitely make forging friendships more difficult. Whereas those of us who go to work often find naturally built-in friendships as a result of working in such close quarters (or naturally built-in enemies! :)). Again, I think your situation is very different due to your child (which often comes with play dates, park visits, and a feeling of unity with other mothers that allows you to make friends who also have children, from my experiences through friends).

Post # 157
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

@MrsRuby: I haven’t bashed anyone for their choice, I am only speaking in general terms.

The only person I have specifically referred to in this thread is the OP, who should think carefully before stopping working because she “doesn’t like it”.

I am fully entitled to be critical of the concept of stay-at-home wives, as I truly and genuinely believe that it is not a healthy lifestyle choice for the reasons I mentioned, and in most cases can’t really be justified (unless you have children who haven’t yet started school, or you are in KatyElle’s position). As other people have mentioned before, there is only so much housework and cooking to do, and it’s fully manageable to do those things while working.

Post # 158
Member
7288 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Women who stay at home don’t have a mental disorder or leprosy. They are able to get an education, and go in and out of the work world as they choose.

I know quite a few homemakers, who blog, write e-books, and have etsy’s type businesses that supplement the family income.

Seriously how many women today are becoming SAHM/SAHW out of high-school? Almost all women today in a stay at home positions have college educations and past work experience. I

Post # 159
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsWrangler: Since this discussion has branched out to include stay at home mothers, that’s mainly what I am addressing at this point. My view on stay at home wives hasn’t changed, if it works for you, that’s your own personal business and people who don’t get it are pretty much going to have to get over it. I found ways to meet people long before I had kids, and it wasn’t always at work.

Post # 160
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@KatyElle: Lol gotcha, I thought we were sticking to the Stay-At-Home Wife. Well then we agree… whatever you have to choose, people have to get over it ;).

Post # 161
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@KatyElle:  if it works for you, that’s your own personal business and people who don’t get it are pretty much going to have to get over it.

That sums up my answer to every opinion in this thread!  I think I’m going to have that embroidered on a pillow. 

 

Post # 162
Member
2950 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@BellsforHer: Your entitled to your opinion but you dont have much substance to go with it. Your discriminating against something perhaps without having all the facts. Who is anyone to say that because someone stays home their reasons to do so arent justified?   Yeah maybe the origninal poster does not like working…. oh well shame on her but your still blasting those of us that do like to workhave worked but decided to stay home. I dont like arguing with people. We all have different view points. I just hate that stereotype of because someone stays home they are antisocial, no education, lazy…etcc Im just trying to say not to be so critical of others…. we dont know everything and its not our place to judge others lifestyles or decisions.

Post # 163
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@jjmomma: I’m sure there’s a nice Stay-At-Home Mom on Etsy who could make you that pillow 😉

Post # 164
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BellsforHer: I am not trying to be critical I am fully asking out of ignorance.  There are nearly  seven billion people on this earth how you able to define what is healthy for any one of them.  You live your life and determine what is healthy for you and your family.  You don’t know everyone’s circumstances nor their mental state and capacity.  Some people work more effectively when they are in stressful situations while others don’t.  Does that make them any less of a person or unhealthy.  Some stay at home wives lives are busier than working persons.  Is a person who works all day yet keeps a filthy house healthy just because they work? 

Post # 165
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@KatyElle: *Nothing but net!  Still smiling over that one!

 

*basketball reference… not internet… I couldn’t figure out how to type my facial expression/ coupled with fist raised and clapping

Post # 166
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MsGolightly:

I am soo torn!! on the one hand, I would LOVE to stay at home and take care of the house/puppy/future kids. on the other hand. i want to have a high-powered career.

the most likely thing to happen, is that i will end up building a career, as i’m finishing my law degree right now, and my Fiance will stay at home and be be a house hubby! my earning potential in the long run is a lot higher than his and it will keep growing on an annual basis. (i think/hope).

so it seems like he’ll be stay at home hubby! but he’s always said he wants to spend time with the future kids.

 

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