- ABusyBride
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
Whoa. I don’t quite know how to address your post, because there’s a lot there to unpack, but none of this seems healthy. How long have you been married? Have you considered seeing a counselor?
Whoa. I don’t quite know how to address your post, because there’s a lot there to unpack, but none of this seems healthy. How long have you been married? Have you considered seeing a counselor?
I am a stay at home girlfriend/fiance. Even before we were engaged I didn’t work. I worked when we first moved in together and I’m in school. But my schedule had me at work when he was going home. And if I complained in the least about going to work it turned into well stay home I’ll give you the money you would have made for your shift (3 hours) eventually I was miserable there if we weren’t busy I’d get sent home early and it wasn’t work driving there. So, I quit and he takes care of my bills and pays for school. I work every so often I worked for a couple months, but like you I have no interest in working. 3.5 throughout high school and 4.0 through college. I keep thinking once I find what I want to do it will changed but it hasnt yet. And he knows I want to be a stay at home mom. I’m sure eventually I will work part time again, but I just can’t sit at home all the time.
When you say that you don’t care about people at work, maybe you need to find a career or job where you make a difference and you care about the people you serve. Working with children/students is really fulfilling, for instance, and you do come to love them 🙂 I like working outside of the home because it adds a valuable dimension to my life and my identity, self-worth, etc. Not that anyone is worth less if they don’t work, but I personally really appreciate having different layers to my life.
It might be about finding a job where you are known and appreciated. Maybe look into a part-time job that is not stressful but is working for a cause you care about. (I work as a paraprofessional with emotionally disturbed students. The kiddo’s crises means that colleagues have to cut their own drama and work as a team. We all respect, appreciate, and work well with one another 🙂 It turns out that many quality people go into special education!)
Our plan is for me to work up until we have kids (if we can – we haven’t tried yet so we’re not sure!) and then I would be a SATM until they are maybe of high school age. If we were struggling financially, I would take up a part-time job when the kids are a bit older. Luckily, my fiance earns good money and my Mum lives with us, so she would always be around to help me care for the children when the time comes (happily so, might I add).
I know that life never goes to plan, but all going well, that is where we are headed. I work in a professional environment with highly competitive colleagues, some of whom are mothers who employ full-time nannies to care for their children, and I have to say I don’t want that life for myself, or my future kids, and neither does my fiance.
I would use that time to do all the usual domestic duties, but I don’t for one second think that I would drive myself nuts with boredom. There are plenty of things that I would keep myself busy with, and having a baby would only add to that busy-ness! Certainly when the children are older, I might consider studying in a different field, something that I am more passionate about (like cooking/baking, or yoga). Very interesting seeing the different viewpoints in this thread. 🙂
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