(Closed) Stay at home wife, no children?? Lets talk

posted 5 months ago in Married Life
  • poll: Are you a stay at home wife?
    Yes, i have children : (30 votes)
    15 %
    Yes, i do not have children : (35 votes)
    18 %
    No, i have children : (34 votes)
    18 %
    No, i do not have children : (95 votes)
    49 %
  • Post # 272
    Member
    12 posts
    Newbee

    Heaven1 :  I don’t see why people are being so rude to you here. If that is what you wish to do then do that! If you and your husband are happy with you being a stay at home wife that is your choice. 

    Post # 273
    Member
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I am a WFH wife haha, so although I am home I do work. I will work less as I get older but that is because I have my own savings and my own 401k. Although the idea of being a stay at home wife sounds great, I am not sure I would be completley comfortablenot having my own safety net for whatever reason. Plus I love to spoil my sig O with my own money. However.. if I had an inheratance or something I would totally be a stay at home wife. 

    In my current lifestyle I do prepare meals and make our home a peaceful place, all while working.

    Post # 274
    Member
    1671 posts
    Bumble bee

    ilive4theapplause :  If she’s going to the farmer’s market every day to buy fresh ingredients to cook (which is fantastic!) I think it’s safe to say that a job that pays minimum wage isn’t going to afford them the same lifestyle that they are currently accustomed to. The families who have the luxury of having a stay-at-home parent BY CHOICE are most often quite well-off; therefore, if the party who stayed at home decides to go back to work, it’s not because they will rely on their income to support the family. This affords them the opportunity to take low-paying jobs that they find enjoyable. You said yourself that the people that you know who returned to the workforce WANTED TO, not HAD TO, which would be entirely different if the spouse’s income stream was lost. That was my only point. The middle-class population is the least likely to have a stay-at-home parent. I know that OP isn’t a parent, but a stay at home spouse, but you were referring mostly to people you know who had children. Just my two cents anyway…

    Heaven1 :  I can respect your choice to stay home, even if it’s not a choice that I would personally make, but I absolutely cannot respect your statement as a female, that you are not a feminist. Do you honestly mean to tell me that because you were born with a vagina, that you do not believe that you are entitled to the same opportunities as someone who was born with a penis? I can never understand that mindset. Also, I know you talk about how you are sure that you will be supported because you can work at your husband’s family business anytime you choose, but what if you split up? As much as I’m sure they love you, they are going to take his side should anything go south unfortunately. Or what if the business goes under? I think the only thing PPs want you to consider is that relying on a single source for anything is not wise. It’s fantastic that you guys have rental properties as a secondary source of income. Best of luck OP, sounds like you are thoroughly enjoying your time with your sweet pup and art :)!

    Post # 275
    Member
    607 posts
    Busy bee

    sollyb :  And you would be paying more if YOU worked and paid your share of the social benefits you use (the roads, the military defense, the general insurance schema, the weather service and etc). He’s paying in for the benefits he receives. You aren’t. You are free-riding on other taxpayers. The fact that he makes a good income doesn’t make up for the lost income of the contributions to the tax base you would make if you worked also.

    Post # 276
    Member
    709 posts
    Busy bee

    personaperson :  That’s ridiculous overreach. Couples are a financial unit as far as taxation goes. They can choose to split their work as they see fit. Their decision. 

    And by your logic, should the higher earners among us feel smug that we’re contributing more to society? Should we tell people that unless they’re working hard to get themselves into the top tax brackets, they’re not doing enough for society? That line of thinking is patently absurd and dangerous.  

     

    Post # 277
    Member
    2884 posts
    Sugar bee

    personaperson :  I guess all the stay at home moms need to get back to work to be productive members of society and to pay their taxes!

    Post # 278
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - City, State

    Stay at home moms contribute to society by raising society’s next generation of workers who will generate tax revenue.  sharpshooter :  

    Post # 279
    Member
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    personaperson :  I guess what I’m saying is my husband is paying more than both of our shares if you took the average household incomes. My husband and I both believe his earning potential would not be as high if I wasn’t at home taking care of things in the home, therefore, if we had two average salaried jobs, we would be paying the same or less taxes. But that is just my opinion and I respect that you don’t think that husband and wife are team and viewed as one, I do since when we file taxes, we are filing as one entity. 

    Post # 280
    Member
    2884 posts
    Sugar bee

    yogahammy :  But what if their kids decide to not work and stay at home.  It’s like a double whammy!  How will our society survive???

     

    Post # 281
    Member
    4313 posts
    Honey bee

    personaperson :  This is flawed logic. It’s like saying that someone who rents isn’t contributing their fair share because they dont own the property and thus pay no property taxes. But they still get to use state parks and schools.

    Post # 282
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee

    gleefulbee :  uuh maybe she willingly opened herself up to judgment when she posted here & said LET’S DISCUSS. So maybe you should get off your high horse, get your lips off her buttcheeks & quit whining! Maybe this is the internet. 

    Also how is simply reiterating a bunch of what the OP said being judgmental? 🙄😑

    Post # 283
    Member
    206 posts
    Helper bee

    Also it’s clear the OP has no intention of properly addressing everyone’s valid & logical concerns about how she’s chosen to let “God cover her” (like God doesn’t have anything better to do than pamper a selfish, dependant, able-bodied woman in the event that things go south bc she wanted to find her “joy” 🙄).

    She’s answering in snarky, smug one-liners & refuses to elaborate on what she’d ACTUALLY do if they (most likely scenario), got a divorce. She very well could be a millionaire heiress & it wouldn’t matter one bit. Her husband might have actually been smitten (stupid?) enough to not make her sign a prenup, & she’ll 100% end up with 50% of everything he owns if they divorce & she knows that, so she doesn’t give 2fux about anything we’re saying here… but we can’t know that bc she refuses to explain, so this is pointless.

    Post # 284
    Member
    2573 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    If that what works for you and your husband, I say more power to you.  

    I’m not going to lie, I’d love to give being a house wife a shot (assuming we could financially swing it and still maintain the lifestyle we like).  In the 16 years since I graduated college and been in my career, I typically only take 8 days off a year.  I would KILL to be able to know what it feels like to take two solid weeks off at a time.  I have busted my ass off and started off at the entry level of my company and worked my way to the top…granted, I was kind of forced into the top role, but that’s a long story.  Basically, I am burnt out and need a a nice looooonnngggg break.  If I ever wanted to be a house wife and did so, then all the judgy’mc judgertons could kiss my chubby little but.  

    Post # 285
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Doesn’t matter what you choose to do people will criticise.

    if you have kids and work you’re criticised 

     

    if you have kids and are a stay at home mum criticised 

     

    if you choose not to work and husband is the main breadwinner you’re criticised 

     

    so bottom line is do what works for you 

    i get snarky comments because I only work 2 days a week and I have a toddler. I have people commenting that I’m so lucky I don’t have work full time and how I must have a great husband. Very seldom do I hear how nice it is for me to have so much time with my daughter 

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