(Closed) Stay at home wife?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I’d love it – if when you say you inherited a good amount of money you mean a huge amount of money.  If I was independently wealthy, I maybe wouldn’t work in a typical job though I’d want to leave my mark on the world on one way or another so I would definitely find something I was passionate about to do but there’s nothing wrong with volunteering and enjoying life and playing hooky for a couple years if you have the means.  The only issue I’d have is if you inherited a good amount but not a fortune – you can’t live off it for the rest of your life – I would not want to be so very dependant.

Post # 18
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

We won’t be getting married for 2 yrs but we will probably consider it. The thing is he will probably still have at least a year of school left when we get married, so it will depend on what his job situation is then and if we can afford it financially. We don’t plan on kids for 2-3 yrs after marriage and when that time comes, I definitely plan on being a sahm, but until he finishes school and is secure in a good job, being a stay-at-home wife is probably a luxury I would love but won’t be able to afford. :/

ETA : @Soon2bBB – Love how you put it! Honestly whenever I think about life in 10 or 15 yrs, I know I want to be at home with some kids cooking and cleaning – maybe I’ll take up sewing too haha! I plan on a career for a few yrs but I’ve always seen myself as the stay-at-home fifties-type housewife. I get some strange looks from my more “feminist” relatives & friends at times lol. 😉

Post # 19
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@Soon2BBB – couldn’t have said it better myself!

Post # 20
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

The first two months Fiance and I lived together we were in Sweden so I was unable to work and I loved being at home. I never really felt bored and this was even in winter when there was no going outside. My Fiance and I plan on me staying home once he is established in his career and we are both so happy about it! Also I did not feel that my Fiance was in control because he was the only one working I was still the one doing the grocery shopping and if I wanted a new shirt or something I was aware that we were able to afford it so I would get it.

Post # 21
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

@kkkatieB12:  That’s exactly my situation, plus we’ll have some student loans.

Post # 22
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Even if you inherited some money, unless it’s a large amount, you still need to be able to support yourselves. Don’t you want to be able to take that money and pass it on to your children? Just saying. Even if my parents passed away and I had my inheritance, I’d feel wasteful living off it. I’d feel like, “i’m young, I should save it for my children” for a rainy day. Cuz money DOES run out. You’re the same age as me–i think you might be jumping the gun a little, money wise. Unless an oil tycoon left you a fortune =].

I don’t think many women are stay at home wives for the sheer fact that people need money and need to work and it’s simply not feasible for a spouse to stay home when children are not involved.

My parents are retired and have been since their mid 40’s and really love it, though. They own property, so they still make money, but they are free to do as they like. I’d rather work now and retire later, than “retire” now. But there’s nothing wrong with a small break if you feel burnt out.

Also, since you want to volunteer and make a difference, you could use some of your inheritance to start a not for profit company or home business.

Post # 23
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Gabrielleelise has a really good point. Does the volunteer work you would do have anything to do with your field of study or what you’d like to do as a career? My only concern is what if, God forbid, something happens to your husband? My dad died when I was 3. My mom was a sahm at the time, but taught school prior to having children. She was easily able to get a job and support herself, me and my siblings after my dad passed away because she had work experience. If it makes sense to you and your Fiance for you to stay at home, that’s awesome. But you may want to consider continuing to develop an employable skill, whether it be through volunteer work, a class or 2 here and there to stay current in your field of study, or a part time job.

Post # 24
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I do agree with the others about the inheritance.  Just remember that this money is going to have to last you for probably another 50+ years.  Just make sure that you would be okay if something happened to your husband before he reaches old age.

Post # 25
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I’m a stay at home wife.  My situation is a bit different as I moved to England after the wedding to be with my husband and haven’t worked since (4 months now).  I know we are very fortunate to be able to do this.  I do find that I feel a bit adrift sometimes.  I don’t miss work necessarily, but I do miss having a schedule and important tasks to do.  I help Darling Husband with his work (he’s self-employed) when I can, but I’m getting itchy to have something that is mine to do. 

It is nice to be so free, but sometimes I get sick of doing laundry and dishes and household stuff- even though I definitely feel that I need to do them to contribute to our household… not that Darling Husband has EVER said that and wouldn’t want me to feel that way.

 

Post # 26
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well my Fiance makes his money off of his inheritance which he has invested and now lives off of the dividends. He is fiscally responsible and financially secure, and he didn’t inherit millions either.

If you are smart with your money an inhertiance can last you a lifetime. You just need to know what to do with your money, but it IS possible.

Post # 27
Member
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i’m a stay at home wife.

when we were engaged, i ended up quitting an extremely stressful job that was making me physically and emotionally ill. before i quit we discussed money and everything else, and we decided everything would be fine with just him working. it was great b/c i got to spend lots of time wedding planning and doing diy.

i started looking for a job during that time and my husband said that i should just put it off until after the wedding since people probably wouldn’t want to hire me right before a wedding and honeymoon anyway, and this way i won’t be too stressed. and then we decided not to look for one any time soon b/c we wanted to get pregnant asap after the wedding, and since i have awful migraines we were worried that it would be way too much to be pregnant, have migraines, and a job. so i’ve been home!

i really don’t get bored. i do most of the housework, cook, and i get to create art whenever i have nothing else to do. i have a friend who’s a stay at home mom that i try to get together will once a week during the day. i get that some people would be bored, but for me it works.

Post # 28
Member
54 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’ve been a stay-at-home fiance for nearly a year. It’s been nice since we relocated to a different state, Fiance is very supportive and grateful to have me home to play the 1950’s housewife role 🙂 I don’t get too bored, people would be surprised how easily your day can fill up. I do get a little lonely being that I live in a new state and don’t work/go to school so I don’t really have an outlet to make new friends.

I’ve also been looking into some volunteer work. If I found the right job, I’d probably enjoy doing something part-time. I keep an eye out for good opportunities but in this economy I haven’t seen too much to jump at.

Post # 29
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have a close friend who lost her job a few months before the wedding and is in this situation at least for now – her field is shedding jobs so it’s hard to get a new one. She is not very happy about it… there’s really very little stimulation and she found that a lot of the places she wanted to volunteer didn’t need her.

As others have brought up, if something happens either to your husband or your marriage, having no work experience is going to seriously hinder you. As for inheritance money, it does really depend how much it is and how much you spend. It sounds like your fiance knows what he’s doing with his money, but what about you? I don’t want to get too specific, but in general if you need to live off it for 50+ years, it really does need to be at least a few million in order to support you.

Post # 30
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have been a stay-at-home fiancee for about two weeks and honestly I love it! I enjoy that the house is clean, we eat home-made meals, I have time to work out etc. Generally with all the wedding stuff I have felt like my days have been very full. I’m not sure what will happen in a couple of months after we come back from the wedding/honeymoon. I might look for a job working from home or take some online class to keep me busy. The only concern I have is telling my family- I have always been very independent, and I’m not sure they would take it so well.

Post # 31
Member
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am taking classes, working toward a different career, post my college graduation.  I enjoy not having a random job right now, but I personally HAVE to be working toward something, all of the time.  Like others have mentioned, it is good not to be dependant. 

My mother inhereted 2 million and it was spent within a few years.  I know that is an extreme case, but -Money has to constantly be watched a renewed, unless you are filthy wealthy. 

However, if you can do what you want and have the means to- and that doesn’t involve working, more power to you.  I think life is to be enjoyed and to be happy, and if you are comfortable not working, if not working is what does it for you, you are very lucky.  Do what is right for you.

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