- 8 years ago
I have posted a bit in the waiting board, but I don’t feel like this is about ‘waiting’.
Back story…My SO and I have lived together 1.5 yrs and his cousin moved in with us this past August. SO and I had a great relationship prior to this. Wen his cousin needed a place to stay, he had several family options, but my SO said he could stay with us w/o seriously discussing it with me or talking to his cousin about how long would be an appropirate legnth of time.
Since his cousin has been with us, my SO has gone from being a real man who loved and supported me to a college age, video games obsessed BOY. He and his cousin play games until late, late, LATE into the evening. Noone helps me around the house, and when I ask for help they grumble and moan and don’t do it. I work full time, as do they, and I train gymnastics 10+ hrs a week, plus take care of the house that techinally isn’t mine, and am mother to HIS dog.
The other night I could not take anymore of the video game stuff. My SO is sick, and he needed to go to bed. He works a physically demanding job, and I wanted to see that he got his rest instead of playing games until 1-2 am. When I asked him to come to bed and explained that I was worried about him, he flipped out and told me that if he pays bills, works 11hr days, and wants to come home from work and play all night, he WILL and he does NOT GIVE A HOOT if I hate it or want to leave. Meanwhile his cousin is screaming things down the stairs about the game instead of coming down to talk to my SO about it. This was at midnight…and I have to get up for work the next morning. I have trouble sleeping and when a lot is going on in the house, I can’t sleep. I’m sick of coming home and listening to gunfire in a game all night until 1-2am, and hearing them yell back and forth. He is 27 years old…and acts like a CHILD. I am 24 and well beyond the age of games and immaturity.His cousin is younger than us and I feel that he is having an adverse affect on my SO.
I called a realtor today and scheduled an appointment to look at an apartment Monday. I have spent the past few days crying and have felt sick to my stomach. This has been a problem in our lives for a few months, and after the other night, I have had all I can take. Moving out would be a huge financial stretch for me, and to add insult to injury, we had discussed getting engaged next month. He is very serious on this topic, and even told his family that this year is the year. However…I find it hard to accept a proposal from someone who used to love me to no end and now they can’t even turn off the TV to spend time with me.
Although he never said it, I am beginning to realize that he feels supporting us with a house and food and buying me nice gifts and eventually a ring should be enough to make me happy and he shouldn’t have to put emotions into a relationship. I am torn between trying to make it work,but when I speak to him about asking his cousin to work on finding a new place, he gets furious. He also gets irrate and FURIOUS when I express my frustrations about the video games. Our relationship has taken a huge turn for the worst, and I have spent the last week sleeping in the guest room and avoiding talking to him. Should I move? I’m so afraid of being on my own because I truely saw my future in this person. I am afraid that I will never meet anyone else, and at 24, I feel like a failure that all my friends are getting engaged and in serious relationships and that mine seems to be ending. I’m scared and very sad. I wrote him a letter to give him because if I try to talk about how serious I am that this might be over, I will cry and not make sense, and I want him to read it and think about what he wants. At this point, my words are not getting through.