Post # 1
Hi bees. I need some serious help, and I would really appreciate anyone’s feedback.
As my name indicates, I have lived in DC for the past 8 years. I love it here. I went to college and law school here, my friends are here, and I just think this is a really cool city with a ton to offer. After graduating, I got a job working for the government that I like but don’t love. I am in a fellowship program, and I don’t think this job uses my legal skills to their full potential. I do think, however, that there could be a ton of opportunities from this job. The market here is competitive and I know it would be hard to get something else, but I think in time, I could do it.
Recently, I applied for a job doing the kind of work I wanted to do in Upstate NY where my parents live. I did not grow up in this area. I ended up getting it, and at first was excited, but now I am seriously afraid that taking it could be a horrible decision. They want someone to be a lifer, and I am just not sure I am ready to make that move at this point in my career. I also think I could be moving to please my parents (don’t even get me started on how silly this is for someone who is getting married and is 27 years old). I am pretty confident that I will not like living there. It’s really cold and snowy and I like living in a big city. I am also worried that this job will not pay me enough. It would be a lateral move salarywise, and rent is cheaper there, but I would have to get a car, which would negate the difference.
What do you guys think I should do?
Post # 3
I don’t think I would move in your situation. Since you aren’t making more and probably won’t have as many advancement opportunities, I don’t see how it will help you in the long run.
Post # 4
As someone who has no say in where she lives, I can tell you without hesitation that loving where you live is very important. I wouldn’t take it.
Post # 5
Thanks so much for responding. I appreciate it. I feel really really bad having wasted the employer’s time, and I think one of my reference may be really angry with me because she knows the people personally, but it’s probably not smart to run my life for other people right? If it matters (in my opinion it REALLY does), my Fiance has a ton more options for his job here becuase he works in politics. It’s the NYS capital, so of course there are opportunities, but he has helped run two presidential races. I think he would be incredibly underwhelmed by the job opportunities there…
Post # 6
Would you rather “work to live, or live to work”?
I personally would stay in DC.
Post # 7
@dcgirl655: An interview is you BOTH trying each other out. Doesn’t matter who decides the fit isn’t right.
Post # 8
@starrynight: That is certainly true.
I really appreciate the responses. I am also really afraid that my parents will be seriously angry. I know they are, and they have made some nasty comments.. “I am ruining my life to go to brunch.” Nice one. And “letting fear run my life.” Some of that rings true because I am terrified to leave and would love living near family, but I still feel like staying is probably the best choice.
What a crappy start to Turkey Week. Ugh. I guess on the plus side, if I decline, I will probably make someone’s Thanksgiving when they get the offer.
Post # 9
As a fellow 26 year old attorney, I think you should stay in DC. I would probably have a different opinion if it were another major city you were considering. I went to law school in NYC and Fiance and I moved to Atlanta to upon my graduation for cheaper housing, better weather, and to be closer to my family in SC. The move for us was the best thing ever because we really only gave up the inconvience of NYC. We still walk to bars, dinner, etc. If you are a city girl, then you just ARE! Living in Albany is a major lifestyle change and sacrifice. It is not like job opportunities for you will not arise in DC in the future, and you are currently employed, so just be patient!
Post # 10
@SouthernLawBride: Thanks so much for your reply. It is really helpful to hear from a fellow attorney! Moving away from a city is the thing that just freaks me out. I know there is a certain amount of fear associated with every move, but I also think that I am having such a visceral “NONONONONONONO!!!!!” kind of response to this that it has to be a bad decision. I do think that there are way more opportunities here.
I also think if Fiance and I were ready to settle down and start a family, it would be a completely different story. We are at a minimum five years away from that, unless one of us gets a HUGE salary increase. I have a ton of law school debt.
At that time, I very well may regret not taking this job, only because there aren’t a ton of opportunities up there and this is a good fit for my resume. Is that a reason to uproot my life though? I don’t know..