(Closed) STD Drama

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: STD vs Invites
    All STD's got invites : (42 votes)
    67 %
    We had to "X" people that we sent a STD to : (5 votes)
    8 %
    We didn't do STD's : (16 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We’re in the process of sending out Save-The-Date Cards in our Christmas cards, and have not sent them to people who won’t be invited (they get a card, but not an STD). I’m worried, however, about family. For instance, we sent a card to FI’s Aunt, Uncle + family (3 cousins, a step-cousin, 2 2nd cousinss, and a g/f) who all live at the same house, but we’re only going to invite the Aunt and Uncle to the wedding. I’m sure it’ll all work out, however–FI says he’ll put them straight if need-be, lol.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2849 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I did send out save the dates to everyone on my guest list. Since the wedding is around a busy time of year, I thought it would be nice to give everyone a heads up. Also, I thought our magnets were really cuteSo far, I’m not having any regret about who I sent them to. I would never send someone an STD and then not invite them. I just think it would be too rude. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We are ONLY sending them to family and other people that we ABSOLUTELY want at the wedding, and truely want them to save the date! because you ansolutely CANNOT send someone and STD and not invite them!

     

    PS the STD abbreviation always makes me giggle to lol!

    Post # 6
    Member
    828 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    We TOTALLY effed up on one STD! We handed one to someone we didn’t have an address for and totally spaced on getting the address when the actual invitations went out. I could die of embarassment. We did have kind of an odd wedding (married during a hockey game). So I made Darling Husband call this guest the week or so before to let them know that we had their tickets and were hoping they’d be able to make it. I still cringe thinking about it…. 

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    We didn’t have a Save-the-Date guest list and a invitation guest list. We just had our one wedding guest list, and both Save-the-Dates and invitations went to all on the list.

    A few people were added to the invitation list after our Save-the-Dates went out, but no one was removed.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m using 72 invitations but only 42 Save the Dates. The people receiving one are the absolute most important to us.  

    I definitely dont’ think you have to send a Save the Date to every single person on your list.  It’s okay to pick and choose – which helps alleviate the stress of deciding to send an invite to someone you’re only luke warm about.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2100 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I do not like STD (heck I giggle when i type that too like a middle schooler) BUT we are getting married in our hometown of Las Vegas and half of our guests are from out of town.   The Four Seasons only has a discounted rate until January 23rd and the invites will not be sent out until late February – so we sent STD.  We emailed them the first time (we ended up having to move the date) and we did resend mailed STD with the new date to all but two people – 1 who did something awful to my Fiance and I am sure he will understand why he is no longer invited to our wedding (coworker not friend and we did not really want to invite in the first place but erred on the nice side) and one other person, also a coworker, that was only invited because of the one that was awful. 

    I think it is a strange custom BUT it does serve a purpose when a wedding involves travel

    Post # 11
    Member
    279 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I am currently seding out our STD’s (LOL!…we are terrible!) with our Christmas cards.  We are olny sending them to people we relly want to be there and anyone who lives more than 1 hour away.  Half our guest list is about 5 hours away.  I have been going by the rule that if I usually don’t send them Christmas cards and I haven’t seen them in over a year, they will just get an invitation. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Holy wow… some of you are sending your Save the Dates REALLY early.  I’m getting married in May and am sending my Save-The-Date Cards on January 2nd – only 5 months!  I don’t understand saving the date for more than 6 months in advance… am I off?

    Post # 13
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @KristenGotMarried: I just figured sending them with Christmas cards is cheaper than sending them separately postage-wise.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4150 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If we have any doubt that we may not send an invite to someone, they’re not getting an STD (BTW I also have to laugh about the acronym).  In my opinion, everyone doesn’t need an STD – they didn’t even used to really be done and I think they should be for the people you truly want to hold the date and make sure they can be there.  So if someone is on the cusp of being on our guest list, we aren’t sending an STD until we’re sure.  However, we are making sure that those in the same group of friends or family do get one if their group/family is all getting one.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    4150 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @KristenGotMarried:

    We’re having a destination wedding which is why they are going out so early.  Every single person has to travel 3 – 8 hours with a couple people flying.  Plus it’s held in a very busy season in the location and hotels are already sold out besides our blocks (which is crazy to me!).  

    Post # 16
    Member
    4676 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Right now I’m only sending Save the Dates to family and close friends..  or people who their is no chance will get uninvited.  

    The topic ‘STD Drama’ is closed to new replies.

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