Post # 1
Our family friends just lost their daughter in a horrible accident (she had just graduated from college and was living at home). We were about to send them their STD for our wedding next summer. I am hesitant now about whether or not I should send them one–for some reason it seems like it would be in poor taste, and like maybe I should wait a few months to send theirs out.
We will all be together at Thanksgiving and I would hate for someone to mention the STD and for them to realize they didn’t get one. Am I overthinking this??
Post # 3
Oh wow, what a terrible tragedy for them :(. I think if you sent them the STD with a personal note that would be okay something acknowledging their loss. I also believe that if they saw you all on Thanksgiving and found out that they didn’t get an STD that would sting for them. What does your family say about it?
Post # 4
I think you should still send them one when you mail out your Save-The-Date Cards. I don’t think it’s in bad taste and wouldn’t be offended. A more awkward situation would be at Thanksgiving trying to explain why you held off.
Post # 5
i would definately send one. during difficult times, my family nneds the support of other family members. if they know you are getting married and they communicate with other family members this can be a terribly awkward situation. kudos to you for being empathetic! however i feel like there is more harm to be done from NOT sending one than sending one
Post # 6
I’d send a condolence card first and hold onto their STD for a week and then send that along. That way they’ll have received your condolences first and then be notified about your wedding. I just think sending them together is a bit weird.
Post # 7
I agree with
@littlemissmoo: Send a condolence card first, then a week later, send them the STD
Post # 8
I think that if Thanksgiving will be the next time you will be in their presence… and you want to wait until then to give it to them that would be fine. If you celebrate the holiday with them, I think they will understand you waiting until later… I don’t know if you are close in age to their daughter, but I’m sure that getting a STD so close to the funeral would sting more than it needs to… but getting a hug from a sweet bride to be along with a notecard to save the date… will give them something to look forward to… One of my mom’s best friends lost her daughter a couple years ago, and I know that something that she enjoys now is getting to be included in her daughter’s friends lives!
Post # 9
I agree with the above posters. Send a sympathy card, wait a week or so and send the STD. They will need to feel loved and surrounded by friends and family at a time like this. To not send the STD could be hurtful to them.