(Closed) STD one day before my EDD

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
95 posts
Worker bee

I think it depends on what your relationship with the couple is. I feel like family would be mostly understanding in this point. Also depends if the wedding is local (ie if hubby would have to travel without you). 

From your OP, I would assume that it’s a local wedding of a friend/s that you really don’t want to turn down. If this is the case, I’d be RSVPing for Darling Husband only, and talking to the couple separately to make sure they know you specific situation. 

Post # 4
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would wait until you get the actual invitation.  If you talk to the bride regularly, you should mention the circumstance so she knows your RSVP will be iffy at best.  But, for instance, what if the baby is 4 weeks premature?  Then if the wedding is local your husband could easily go, and you might even be able to go if you want to and feel up to it.  It’s too far away to make a decision.

Post # 5
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’d say wait for the actual invite. Unless you’re already telling people you’re PG, then I would just tell the bride to give her a head’s up before the invites are out. 

Is it possible to put yourselves down for a ‘maybe’? Or ‘will let you know when the date gets closer’? Some brides are ok with this (I was and would certainly understand in this case!). I know my husband wouldn’t be ok in leaving me to go to a wedding he RSVP’d for- especially if I was still in the hospital during the wedding. There’s little way of telling if this will happen, but it’s always a chance. :/

Post # 6
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It’s only a save the date right now, just wait until you get the actual invitation, and then either decline or accept. A wedding invitation is not a summons, so unless it’s family or an extremely close friend, I don’t really see the big deal in declining. 

Post # 7
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would also wait until I receive an actual invitation and kindly inform her that you won’t be able to attend. She should be more than understanding. I would make sure to send her a nice gift 🙂

Post # 8
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wait for the invitation and then just let them know that you can’t make it.  I had one couple whose EDD was my wedding date, so they wrote that on the RSVP card with a sweet message, and of course we understood.  I had another couple who we are very close with who had an EDD within a week of our travel wedding (by car).  They RSVP’d yes for 2 people.  Then, the day before the wedding, the doctor said the baby was coming at any time, so they had to bow out of the wedding.  They are great friends, so I don’t really mind that we paid for 2 meals for them, but I do kind of wish they had been realistic upfront and just RSVP’d no – I totally would have understood.  When I got the RSVP yes, I was actually confused and almost called them because I didn’t think there was any way they would make it.  Probably should have gone with my gut there.

Post # 9
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Yeah I’d just wait.  My friend’s got married out of state last month and I was too far along to fly.  So my hubby thought he’d go.  But then decided it wasn’t best to leave me alone.  I had been experiencing pre-labor symptoms.  Our friends completely understood.

Post # 10
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I guess it depends on how badly you want to go to this wedding. Let me put it this way: it’s a lot easier to take out 2 dinners last minute than add 2.

You could just let the person know the situation when you reply and then follow up with them the week of depending on if you’re going or not.

Post # 11
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Just be honest. I wouldn’t feel like going. Still send a gift though.

Post # 12
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d wait until you get the actual invite before doing anything.

Assuming it is a local wedding, who knows, the baby could come multiple weeks early and you could feel up to going (or at least your Darling Husband going).  Or your baby may stay in past the EDD and you may want to still go for a bit and support your friends.

Either way, you don’t have to make that call now.  So just sit tight and wait for the actual invitation and see where things stand then.

Post # 13
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I personally wouldn’t go.

When I was getting married, two people were expecting.  One was within 2 weeks of her due date, she showed up.  The other was within a week, and she did not.  

Post # 14
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree that waiting for the actual invitation is best.  It’s so iffy around you EDD.  You may go into labor early, you may go into labor late…but your husband probably won’t want to leave you for long. 

If you do RSVP no, just include a nice note on the card explaining that you’ll be celebrating your new arrival right around that time.  They should understand!

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