Post # 16
Tell them now, but only if you’re OK with not bugging them with a “suprise, now we can make it” like PPs mentioned. That would be a major headache to me.
I granted plus ones to a few people in new relationships who asked for them after sending out STDs. In the last few months, I’ve dealt with “oh no we broke up!” “just kidding we got back together!” from them. From relatives, we’ve gotten “oh we rescheduled our trip aound your wedding!” then “just kidding we might go abroad during your wedding weekend after all!”
I want to tell everyone to spare me the details and just fill it out on their damn RSVP card. And stick to that.
Post # 17
I would tell them ASAP. I know I appreciated it when people told me right away. I’d just let them know that unfortunately you’re already booked that weekend, wish you could be there, don’t worry about sending a formal invite. If you want to send a card and gift that’s up to you.
Post # 18
- Wedding: November 2015 - The Victorian
want to tell everyone to spare me the details and just fill it out on their damn RSVP card. SO funny and true.
Post # 19
Good point you and PP made! I have thought about this as things do come up and plans do change and I will be ok if I do not get an invite and my bachelorette gets cancelled or changed. They are getting married six hours away, so their wedding will cost me about $700 to attend. Now, if I had no plans, money isn’t really the issue and I would go, but if the plans get changed or cancelled, I will be ok because it’s quite an expensive weekend and as I’m planning my own wedding right now, things are tight. I will definitely still send a cash gift and my regrets. I agree with other posters that it’s nice to save on an invite, postage and be able to add a B-list guest if possible. Thanks everyone for your insight!
Post # 20
I LOL’d too. I’m with ya. My invites go out in late July and I’m dreading the RSVP nonsense! Thanks for the laugh:)
Post # 21
I am sure they would appreciate you letting them know sooner than later.
Post # 22
An STD is not an invitation and no response at all is required. But if you know for sure you can’t make it, and it sounds as if there is nothing that would change that, it would be a courtesy to let her know. I’d send a gift closer to the date of the wedding.
Post # 23
I would let them know. They Wil probably still send an invite though!