(Closed) STD sent, guest cannot come – still send invite?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I send an invite to someone who I know cannot attend?
    Yes : (17 votes)
    68 %
    No : (8 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    636 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    You should still send it.  I don’t think it is offensive or gift grabby – I would expect an invitation even if I told the person I couldn’t attend after receiving the STD.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I have the same situation but I think I’m gonna send it anyway just in case miraculously something changes. I voted no, though, because you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    An invitation to the wedding isn’t asking for presents.  An invitation to the bridal shower on the other hand is!!

    You should still send her a wedding invitation because it shows that you would have liked to have her there, and sometimes people keep those invitations as keep-sakes.

    Post # 6
    Member
    408 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    You should absolutely still send her an invite.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    i had 2 of these, I just tucked a handwritten business card sized not that said- we know you cant make it but you will be missed! so they knew I wanted them to know we wished they could make it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If you would like her to attend (for instance, if her schedule changes, she wins the lotto, etc…), then send her an invite.  If you feel odd about it, then you can always include a small handwritten note, or make a quick follow-up call that says something like “I know you cannot make it to the wedding, but I still wanted you to see my cute invites” . . . or something else similarly light-hearted and good-natured.

    Post # 9
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @jenbrandner – shower invites only carry a gift obligation if you attend, whereas it is expected that you send a gift (which doesn’t need to be expensive, just to acknowledge the occasion) for a wedding

    I’d send them an invite anyway. They’d probably like to see it and know that you want them there if something changes.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    @VeronicaH – maybe it depends on what region you live in and other factors…  I’ve never felt obligated to send a gift when invited to a wedding (but I send one anyway even if I’m not coming).

    I like the other posters ideas of including a small note in the invitation saying you know they can’t come but wanted to send them an invitation anyway.

    Post # 11
    Member
    256 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I agree that you should still send the invite. I have a few people that I know can also not make my weddings, so I am sending their invitations out early with my out of town guests. Then I have met the formality and know early on if I can add a “B list guest.”

    Post # 12
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I have one that is like this and I am not sending an invite. However, her baby is also due the day of my wedding and she told me not to send one :-P. We exchanged gifts wedding and baby when she was in town visiting for work.

    The topic ‘STD sent, guest cannot come – still send invite?’ is closed to new replies.

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