(Closed) STDs and Wedding Invite for transgendered person

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Can you hand deliver it to him instead of mailing it? If he goes by Mark, you should definitely address it to Mark. If his dad is going to cause a problem with mail, just hand Mark the STD.

Post # 4
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BetterSherm:  Maybe you can stick the postcard in an envelope addressed to Jessica and then have the postcard inside addressed to Mark.  Give your friend a heads up warning to explain what you’re doing, and why, and it should be fine.  Dad will deliver the envelope and then the inside postcard will read as it should.

Post # 5
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

hmm, could you put Mark’s postcard (with Mark’s name on the postcard) in an envelope addressed to Jessica to make sure Mark gets it?

Post # 6
Member
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, I would address it to whatever name he goes by, but let him know you mailed it, so he can keep an eye for it?  Otherwise, could you hand-deliver it to him to make sure he gets it?  Or, could you address it to Mark, but put it in an envelope addressed to Jessica? (Obviously it’s more expensive than the postcard route, but it might make sure he gets it..) 

It’s a federal offense to tamper with someone else’s mail, so his dad better grow up… 

Post # 7
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I like the idea of addressing the outside envelope in a way that will get delivered and the inside envelope to his preferred name. I know your Save-The-Date Cards are postcards, but you can find an envelope for this particular one.

I’m sort of shocked that he hasn’t come up with a way to handle this – like a PO Box?? They’re super cheap, and it must be difficult having your mail tampered with like that. I guess he gets everything addressed to Jessica still? So, he shouldn’t be bothered by your method, and since you spoke with him, he’ll understand.

Post # 10
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Envelope is probably easiest. He should probably get a PO Box like one of the PP’s said so he can get ALL his mail. Or an alternate address if he has a friend or SO where you could send it. I think this is more important for the invites, since save-the-dates have basic information you can pass on by phone if all else fails. Invitations feel more important, so I’d definitely make sure he gets that.

Post # 11
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Well can you just pick up the phone and call Mark? Dad needs to GTFO it already. Maybe do an invitation to Mark and give it to him in person since dad is going to throw everything out.

Post # 12
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Since he lives with his dad, could you just address it to the ____ family?

Post # 14
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d do the envelope trick, so his father doesn’t throw it out and his actual invite says ‘Mark’ out of respect.  If you tell him why you’re doing it, I’m sure he’ll understand and be appreciative that you thought of it for him.  

Post # 16
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ask Mark how he would like to be addressed.  He obviously knows his father’s feelings toward his decision to identify himself as male, so if the STD or invite disappeared he would know it was his father’s fault and not yours.

The topic ‘STDs and Wedding Invite for transgendered person’ is closed to new replies.

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