(Closed) Stealing My Bachelorette Thunder

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

What exactly is the problem here?  It seems like you were upset that your friend’s boyfriend planned a wine tasting birthday close in time to your wine tasting bachelorette party, but then she changed it, so what’s the problem?  Did you expect her not to do anything for her birthday?  I don’t think it’s really reasonable, or even possible to schedule a Bridal Party so that it doesn’t fall near anyone’s birthday.

As far as her making you feel bad for canceling, I would say to let that one go.  If she’s resentful towards you for her own decision to change her plans, there’s not much you can or should do about that, in my opinion.

Post # 5
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

Beachbride, I didn’t mean to offend you.  I really don’t understand why you’re upset.  Do you think you were wronged in this situation (with the BP)?  If you’re annoyed and just want to vent, can you explain why you’re annoyed? 

I didn’t say that your problem was unimportant.  I asked what it was, because it’s not obvious to me what it is.

Post # 6
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

I think Miss Snapdragon’s response was reasonable, so no reason to be snippy =)

Similar complaints have come up before with friends/relatives scheduling weddings before or close to other people’s, and the answer I like best (which would also apply here) is that you get one day.  Not a week or a month, but a day.  

 Even if your friend had not changed her plans, I wouldn’t see a problem with it.  A birthday is just as much a reason for celebration as a bachelorette, and there’s no reason her boyfriend can’t give her a nice present, right?  Be happy that you get to go on a fancy trip to LA instead!  🙂

Post # 7
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Ditto to peihan. Well put.

Post # 8
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I can see how you would be upset. Its totally stealing your thunder, even if it wasnt intentional.  You are allowed to be mad.

Post # 9
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee

If I was one of your friends I would be psyched to have such awesome weekend plans two weekends in a row.  I would not be comparing them.  Plus a bachelorette is just more crazy fun than a birthday, you get to make your friend wear ridiculous outfits, and do silly things, and people tend to let their hair down more. I guess its because each person gets just one bachelorette (hopefully).

Post # 10
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I see the issue- I hate how some bloggers downplay feelings- everyone has a right to feel as they personally wish. 

I guess the thing I see is that the two weekend were really exactly the same in nature with the same people- however, I do think your friend was very very nice to go out of her way and change her plans to accomdate your request for no two wine weekends in a row. That’s a pretty good friend.

I don’t think there is any right or wrong because her boyfriend had planned it, not her.  I think the end result was for the best though and I see how you feel. I would just be mad for a bit (not at your friend but at the situation), then let it slide. That’s what I did when a similiar situation happened to me.

Post # 11
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

beachbride1008,

I know it’s frustrating, but it seemed as though she already tried to do a bit of damage control by trying to "Change up" the plans a bit so it doesn’t sound TOO familiar to your bachelorette party. I would give her some credit. Really, all that’s familiar now is a limo but a limo is usual game for a day out on the town (or night..).  Try to see it as a opportunity to party hardy 2 times instead of one!

Also, please relax. The snappy comment you made directed towrds MissSnapDragon was totally uncalled for. She’s genuinely trying to help and was in no way referring to your problem as unimportant or not validated. It’s doesn’t help to better understand your situation and it is quite a put-off. 

We’re just trying to help and offer some insight to soothe the way you feel about the situation. I’d be frustrated, too.  

Post # 12
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I don’t think you should expect your friend not to be able to celebrate her bday just because you are getting married.  Its not like its on the same weekend.  and she was nice enough to change it, wasn’t she? 

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