(Closed) Stealing my Thunder?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You got engaged months apart, and your weddings are months apart.  That’s plenty of time for both of you to have the spotlight.  Try not to let it bother you.

Post # 4
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think its something to even think twice about. To be honest I think its kind of silly that anyone would think this is stealing your thunder. If he scheduled his wedding on the same day/same weekend? Then yes. But its months apart and I don’t think there are any rules stating whoever gets engaged first has to get married first.

 

Post # 5
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would be upset too. My Future Sister-In-Law got engaged after we did and one of the first things I said to my Fiance was that they better not be thinking about getting married before us. They aren’t, but I would have been pissed. As far as the hens (is that like a bridal shower or bachelorette party?) I would just put on my big girl panties and let her have her day. No reason you can’t mention your wedding, but let the focus stay on hers. No one will be able to say you didn’t act graciously , and then you can go ahead and throw an amazing wedding (Perhaps try to upstage them ever just a little bit hehe) I promise no one is going to be thinking about their wedding when they are at yours!

Post # 6
Member
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ahbsbee:  No your brother did nothing wrong. 5 months is plenty of space, in fact I know a brother and sister who married 5 months apart, no problem. Also your engagement is very long – which is fine, but people can’t expect your brother to have a 12+ month engagement just to wait for you.

As for the hens’ night – that night is about your Future Sister-In-Law. I don’t see any harm in mentioning your wedding a little (I mean if anyone asks, “What are you doing these days?” it’s hard to avoid), but don’t go on about it.

Post # 7
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Weetzie:  Trying to upstage someone else is a terrible idea.  It’s just adds negativity to your choices.  OP should plan the wedding of her dreams without bothering about her brother’s wedding.  They’ll be different enough.

Post # 8
Member
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

You are neither Thor nor Zeus, you have no thunder to steal. He isn’t getting married the weekend before you, it is months. And there is no limit on how happy people can be for others, it isn’t going to run out because he got married first. 

Post # 9
Member
866 posts
Busy bee

Wow at least one of the responses here is very catty and immature!

 I think you were right in the first place to not even think of it, there is such a long amount of time between the two that there is no way they are “stealing your thunder”.

Post # 10
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Jabberwocky:  That’s why I added the ‘hehe’ at the end of it. Jokes people. Relax.

Post # 11
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you haven’t been in the specific situation you don’t know what it feels like to ‘have your thunder stolen’. Whether its in your head or not it completely sucks. We all know being a bride makes you way overly sensitive.

Post # 12
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Ridiculous typically in my family they tell you to get over it. You have no obligation to plan your life around your brother, nor does your brother and your fsil have to do the same. I do think when family members get married close to each other, you guys should consult on the timeline if you have family members traveling out of state to make easier for them and so they don’t have to pick one wedding over the other.

Don’t let this get in your head, even though I’m sure all of us brides feel like special snowflakes and I don’t think people need that much spotlight under which to get married. Millions of people do it everyday.

Post # 13
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Weetzie:  I guess I just don’t get it.  I’ve got about 6 coworkers who I’m pretty close too, all at various stages of engaged to just married, and there’s plenty of thunder to go around.  I can’t imagine being upset if my brother or my FI’s sister got engaged aorund now either.

Post # 14
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My brother got engaged last April with the intention of getting married this April (3 weeks!!!) and my fiance proposed in August and we are getting married in October.  My brother and I are both very excited for each other and I refuse to believe that my Fiance did anything wrong by proposing during their engagement, or that we’re in the wrong about getting married this year.  And who cares who gets married first?  That’s just silly.  

Post # 15
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t believe in “stealing thunder.” I don’t think it’s possible to do.

Post # 16
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The problem here is the people in your life who are trying to stir up shit between you and your brother. They need a smackdown.

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