(Closed) Stealing Thunder?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yes, you’re being too sensitive.  It shouldn’t matter if people decide to get engaged or married before you do, especially when your wedding is almost two years after your proposal.

But I will admit, saying “You 2 have been together longer but we will be married for longer…” is so RUDE!  Holy moly!  No wonder you were irked, I don’t blame you!  But hey, if they want to rush into marriage because it’s a competition with you, then let ’em.  Something tells me you’ll end up winning the “Who’s been married longer” award.  HA

Post # 4
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@missjewels:  Her comment wasn’t nice but do you really expect them to wait two years to get married so its after you? Thats not fair, if I were them I wouldn’t wait for you either. 

Post # 5
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yes- you are being too sensative to the timing of proposal and wedding plans.  You would be the one stealing thunder by asking your future brother-in-law to wait 2 years to marry his girl.

On the other hand, the snarky “married comment” is totally out of line.  Best to keep an eye on this one.

Post # 6
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

Her comment was completely out of line. But, that has nothing to do with your chief complaint.

Seriously, they are talking about having an event more than a year before you. You don’t get a week, a month, a season, a year, or, in this case, a year and a month. You get a day. You will have an amazing day where you pledge your life to the one you love. It will be beautiful, no doubt.

She also gets a day. She doesn’t get a week, a month, a season, or a year. Her day will be amazing for the same reasons. It will be beautiful, and no one will even begin to compare it to their day.

Now, as for her catty comments, just try to ignore them. If she keeps it up, politely tell her that you would appreciate it if she kept her focus on her own relationship instead of dissecting your relationship.

Post # 7
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If your wedding was September 2012, then I think it would much more offensive.  But setting a date a year ahead of yours is not diabolical.  (Her comment was rude though)

 

Post # 8
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

Yes, I do think you’re being oversensitive.  In my opinion, love and good news multiply rather than “steal thunder.” I would try to look at this as an exciting time for your family rather than a competition. 

Now her comment was rude- but did you say something rude about their timing to provoke it?  Not that 2 wrongs make a right…  

Within a couple days of getting engaged, my cousin’s boyfriend proposed, and it looks like they are setting a date a couple weeks before ours.  And I think that’s great!  I get to be engaged at the same time as my cousin, which is a lot of fun. 

Post # 9
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i can relate to this…  fiance and i had been together about a year and a half when we picked out a ring in october of 2011… fiance’s sister had started dating a boy from a whole different state in september of 2011… all of the sudden they are madly in love and start talking marriage… they get engaged THREE DAYS before us… we looked like total A-holes and have been accused of stealing her thunder on multiple occasions. she was married at the end of march and we will be married exactly 56 days later, but hey- you gotta remember- you’ll be family for life. she and i butted heads about wedding stuff at first, but after your big day you gotta be with these people for the rest of your lives! it’s not worth the drama! i love my future sis in law! 

Post # 10
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Yep, sorry. It was you and your FI’s choice to date for 8 yrs and to set your wedding date. Your FI’s brother and his new Fiance get the same right– to choose when to get engaged and when to get married.

As for the comment, what’s it matter? A long marriage doesn’t mean it was a good marriage. You and your Fiance have put a lot of work into getting to know each other over the past 8 yrs and will put a lot of work into planning the wedding– it will pay off in the long run, OP!

Post # 12
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@missjewels:  Ok but it must be said, when you add in the beach-dress thing that your Future Sister-In-Law is doing, it makes this so much worse!  Ugg… I hope she gets better in time…

Post # 13
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Her comment was annoying, but yes, you’re being oversensitive.  Just be happy they didn’t set their date for a week before yours or something!  Good luck with all your planning (ps – she sounds like someone I wouldn’t want to share too many of your wedding details with)!

Post # 14
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That bitch— I would have said something mean like “we’ll see” after a comment like that.

I can’t say whether or not you’re being too sensitive cause her move would make it a sensitive subject to me. I would feel like she did it on purpose. But that’s me. Nothing u cam really do about it except plan your wedding on the dl so she can’t steal your ideas- I would definitely keep things quiet.

Post # 15
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@missjewels:  While there is nothing wrong with the way you’re feeling (your entitled to your own feelings) I wouldn’t let it bother you. I think it is COMPLETELY unnecessary for her making the “we’ll be married longer” comment. Some people really have some problems.

My lovely Future Sister-In-Law purposely planned her daughter’s baptism the day after our wedding (after she knew our wedding date) and was angry that we wouldn’t be there and on our honeymoon.   

Post # 16
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

So a bunch of my friends have recently gotten engaged.  We were engaged in October and there have been 3-4 engagements since.  They are all getting married before us. And I don’t care because it doesn’t matter.  I am happy and excited for all of my friends.

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