Post # 1
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
Hi bees –
I have been doing okay for the past few weeks and have been focusing on the present and all I have to be grateful for in my relationship.
Found out last night my step brother proposed to his SO who I love very much. I’m ecstatic for them…but of course it brings up all those negative feelings too. Hard to hear “engaged” and not think “wish it was me.” 🙁
Again, I am so happy for my step brother and his new fiancé. I know they are going to have a great life together. I’m just so ready for my turn. Gosh, my SO and I were with my folks when we all found out the news and seeing my parents light up like that made it even harder. I cried when we weren’t with them anymore because I am so darn ready for it!
Just needed to vent a little bit. I hope everyone has a good week.
xo
Post # 2
Member
3233 posts
Sugar bee
Sending a hug. I’m glad you haven’t let this stop you from being happy for others. Your time will come.
Post # 3
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
I’m confused. How is your wedding in May 2019 but you aren’t yet engaged? And is this the same individual you claimed you would be done with if he hadn’t proposed by Christmas of 2017? Same person you were posting about 2 years ago that you were waiting on when you had already been together 3 years at that time? wth is the hold up and why are you still waiting?
Post # 4
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
heavenlyflower : You have to pick a wedding date to join the site, so I made up one. As for everything else you said, you’re pretty off base. I’d suggest going back through my posts if you REALLY care. I love my SO more than anything and while I’m ready to be engaged, he has his reasons for wanting to wait a little longer and I’m not going to write up another post about that when you can go find it if you’re interested.
I was feeling down already. I don’t need anyone questioning my relationship and my SO like you just did. Not the point of this post.
Post # 5
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
gagal2016 : Actually I did read through your previous posts and all I saw were excuses. Which you seem to be willing to accept for the last few years. In order to offer helpful advice I had questions first and needed clarification. But I can see from your defensive response where this is going so never mind.
Post # 6
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee
? I didn’t have to pick a date . . . The Knot made me pick one, but not this site.
Post # 7
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
heavenlyflower : Last I checked the point of this site was not to judge each other’s relationships unless that person specifically asks for others perspectives and advice. She didn’t. She asked for a pick me up, which if you’re not happy to give then don’t post?
gagal2016 : Well done for being so happy for your step-brother. It must have been hard and what you did was mature. Hang in there!
Post # 8
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
Like heavenlyflower I also read through your previous threads. I do not know the full circumstances around your relationship, but from what you’ve presented on the forums so far I get a strong impression that your boyfriend is stringing you along. Surely he cannot have failed to notice how unhappy you are about not being formally engaged.
Please don’t let him string you along any longer. Life is too short.
Post # 9
Member
3231 posts
Sugar bee
heavenlyflower :
vanillacustard :
Agree with both of you ladies.
gagal2016 : I feel bad for you op, but use these feelings of sadness as a wake up call. You’re playing yourself at this point by continuing to buy your boyfriends excuses and allowing him to be totally in charge of *your* destiny…Good luck op!
Post # 10
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
hungrymeow : When I signed up it asked me to enter a date and would not allow me to continue without putting one in 🤷♀️
Post # 11
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
laura0707 : Thanks bee. I used to love reading comments from other bees on my own posts and on other bees’ posts. Now I’m wary to post because it seems like there’s always judgement on the other end. If I wanted people to tell me what I need to do, I’d say that. I’m aware of where I am in my relationship and while I’m not 100% happy not being engaged, it’s my relationship and I don’t need a bunch of strangers attacking my SO all the time. It honestly doesn’t even feel like bees are concerned about me or my happiness…seems like a lot of them just want to tell someone how stupid they’re being and preach self respect. I may not be where I want to be yet, but I’m not throwing away the best guy in the world because he isn’t quite ready to marry me yet. I’ve got my own deadline in my head. So don’t be concerned bees. I’m pretty smart and capable 😊
Post # 12
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
I’d like to think that I phrased my post more sensitively than you perceived. However, I do question why you post multiple threads lamenting that you’re not engaged yet if you refuse to do anything about your situation. Whilst I imagine you just want a sounding board in the forum, I understand the other bees when they wonder why you won’t help yourself.
Post # 13
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
vanillacustard : I think I have said and done all I can with my SO. I have a deadline in my head. He knows I won’t wait forever. There’s nothing else I can do. I don’t post every single convo SO and I have on here. He knows my limits and I know his. If he doesn’t meet my deadline (he doesn’t know when it is) the I’ll go. I don’t know what else there is to talk about.
Post # 14
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
- Wedding: August 2018 - Woodworth Chapel
I was just there, I sat my now Fiance down and shared how I felt. Honestly, and all of it. Then I gave it up to God made my deadline and enjoyed life.. What you don’t want is to miss out on the great moments and oppotunities waiting on this one thing. Your season will come and it will be glorious.
And trust me you wish for it, and when you get it.. it’s stressful.
Hope you get what you want.
Post # 15
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
gagal2016 : That is fair enough, Bee 🙂 I just know the pain of being strung along and don’t want to see others go through the same thing. Best wishes!