(Closed) Step-brother's girlfriend at our intimate wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
1781 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Ok, I’m all for inviting the social unit as one.  But she’s still MARRIED.  And there is something about having the knocked up woman who’s cheating on her husband at an intimate wedding that just doesn’t quite sit right with me.  If they were divorced, that would be one thing and I could turn a blind eye.  But bringing someone else’s wife as a date is just not right. 

Post # 18
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If she’s pregnant, I say that makes them a “social unit” by WB standards (but not by any real etiquette standards, because technically she is still married and a person cannot simultaneous be a part of 2 social units). But I’m sure that’s not what this thread is about. I think, yes, you would not save yourself any headaches by inviting him without her. I think the better bet is to invite neither of them. Your stepdad must be somewhat aware of how his son treats you, right?

Post # 20
Member
469 posts
Helper bee

@BeeandBeeBride27:  Don’t invite either of them, but talk to your step father first before sending any invites. I’m sure he has seen how his son treats you, and while it will sting, he’ll probably understand the reasoning.

Post # 21
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think you should have a heart to heart with your step-dad and tell him that you really love him, but his son is not pleasant towards you and you would prefer to surround  yourself with people who truely love you. I think he will understand. But if you do invite him, i agree with pp that she should be invited too or else you might cause more unwanted drama.

Post # 22
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Cabin

Don’t invite him to please someone else.  I invited my step brother because we get along like siblings, however, my stepsister was not invited because we do not get along  and my step father was just fine with that.  He understood, he said we are all adults, and can make our own decisions.  We did talk to my stepfather about it first. 

Post # 23
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Thats how i feel too. If I were having a bigger wedding with more people I’d invite my stepsister (i doubt she’d come though cause she rarely comes to any family gathering). She’d be easy to ignore even if it was a wedding of 50 guests. But with such few people of only 15 she’d be much harder to ignore. After the ceremony we’re having cake and dinner, everyone sitting together. Stepsis would either not speak to anyone or be rude. I really never know what personality i’m going to get with her and I’m just not dealing with her behavior on my wedding day. I haven’t told my dad and stepmom my decision yet. We’ll see if there’s any drama from it, but i stand by my decision. I anticipate drama from my stepmother cause she thinks all family has to be invited to weddings and has called me selfish and uncaring for having an intimiate wedding and not inviting aunts, uncles and cousisns so i anticipate her being upset at her daughter not being invited. To her it doesn’t matter how close the relationship is, if they have a family title (such as aunt, cousin, stepsister) she feels they have to be invited. But my stepmother goes to every one of her cousins, 2nd cousins and 3rd cousin twice removed’s weddings even if she hasn’t seen them in decades cause they are “family”. I have a different take on family. She thinks family is about being related, i think its about how close you are to that relative. You may be related to someone but that doesn’t guarantee a relationship will form.

 

 

 

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