Post # 77
I have to say I too agree that you are doing the right thing in including her in your bridal party. Is there any chance you two could spend some time alone together doing something just so you can get to know each other a little more?
Post # 78
@Irish-bride: In the original post the OP mentioned her two children a 13yo daughter and an 8yo son. Her stepdaughter who is also 13. And her and her FIs 2yo baby.
I’m glad you decided to have her on your side. It’s hard being a step parent and I wish you luck!
Post # 79
@ladyartichoke: Yes I misunderstood because I thought she had two daughters and a toddler. Either way though as adults we really do have to set a good example and watch what we say ourselves to prevent flare ups. I watch those nanny programmes sometimes like super nanny and nanny 911 and 99 times out of a hundred, the parents are at fault, not the children. I also observe on occasions where children are being unruly outside like in the supermarket etc and a lot of the time I just think the adult could have taken a different approach to the situation and the argument could have been prevented.
I once read somewhere that when kids aren’t getting much attention from mum and dad, they then start to misbehave because bad attention is still attention. I am pregnant with our first baby and I’m no expert when it comes to children but I intend to get as much info as possible and try my best to do things as well as I can.
Post # 80
@Toastymama: i am so pleased you have changed your mind.
Post # 81
She was probably deep down very excited to be a bridesmaid, I know at 13 when I was struggling with my parents divorce I would have been thrilled to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. It certianly would have brightened my day.
Divorce is one of the worst things a child can go through and they all handle it different. In saying that, being 13 is also hard a girl. Put the two together and your asking for trouble.
Don’t give up on her.
Post # 82
@Emmy88: I could never give up on her. She is part of the family. It just gets so hard at times. Her mum has moved on and is engaged her Fi has 4 children of his own also, 2 boys and 2 girls. So she has a bunch of step siblings and one half sister (our 2 yr old daughter)
The seating was at my inlaws place while we were on vacation. She wanted to sit next to my daughter also aged 13. Her dad and the rest of the adults were cooking and prepping dinner. There were no allocated seats at all.
This is the reson why i had such a hard time to decide to give her a bouquet or not as they are all handmade. I have made it and she will be getting it now. It is a very personal thing for me as it took a lot of time and effort to make them. I hope she loves it just as much as i do.
Post # 83
Her behavior was unacceptable, but it was your condescending “diddums” comment that pushed her over the edge. Because she is only 13 she doesn’t possess the impulse control or vocabulary necessary to tell you off in a polite manner. This is why she is screaming and swearing at you. I can promise you she will figure out a better way to do it someday, and I’m willing to bet it will mirror your sarcastic approach.