(Closed) step daughter to have her as my BM or not (LONG sorry) i need advice please.

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 77
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I have to say I too agree that you are doing the right thing in including her in your bridal party. Is there any chance you two could spend some time alone together doing something just so you can get to know each other a little more? 

Post # 78
3274 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@Irish-bride:  In the original post the OP mentioned her two children a 13yo daughter and an 8yo son.  Her stepdaughter who is also 13.  And her and her FIs 2yo baby.


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@Toastymama:  I’m glad you decided to have her on your side.  It’s hard being a step parent and I wish you luck!

Post # 79
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@ladyartichoke:  Yes I misunderstood because I thought she had two daughters and a toddler. Either way though as adults we really do have to set a good example and watch what we say ourselves to prevent flare ups. I watch those nanny programmes sometimes like super nanny and nanny 911 and 99 times out of a hundred, the parents are at fault, not the children. I also observe on occasions where children are being unruly outside like in the supermarket etc and a lot of the time I just think the adult could have taken a different approach to the situation and the argument could have been prevented. 


I once read somewhere that when kids aren’t getting much attention from mum and dad, they then start to misbehave because bad attention is still attention. I am pregnant with our first baby and I’m no expert when it comes to children but I intend to get as much info as possible and try my best to do things as well as I can.

Post # 80
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Toastymama:  i am so pleased you have changed your mind. 

Post # 81
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

She’s 13.

She was probably deep down very excited to be a bridesmaid, I know at 13 when I was struggling with my parents divorce I would have been thrilled to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. It certianly would have brightened my day.

Divorce is one of the worst things a child can go through and they all handle it different. In saying that, being 13 is also hard a girl. Put the two together and your asking for trouble.

Don’t give up on her.

Post # 83
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Her behavior was unacceptable, but it was your condescending “diddums” comment that pushed her over the edge. Because she is only 13 she doesn’t possess the impulse control or vocabulary necessary to tell you off in a polite manner. This is why she is screaming and swearing at you. I can promise you she will figure out a better way to do it someday, and I’m willing to bet it will mirror your sarcastic approach.

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