(Closed) Step Daughter wants us to postpone wedding!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

@Bostongrl25:  I hadn’t read the other post, sorry.

Good lord. I would not sign up for any of this until there is more stability and you truly know what you’re getting yourself into. This sounds like a nightmare situation.

Post # 48
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee

I really am lacking anymore advise I just really hope things turn out for the best for these kids. Your intentions seem good, that whole situation is beyong bizarre. Really hope things get easier for everyone.

Post # 49
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I don’t think any of this is real. 

Post # 52
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@iluvmy67cuda:  I’m not calling troll on you, but this is the internet, and there are plenty of people who make crazy stuff up just for funsies.

I wish you and those kids the best of luck.

Post # 53
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Baal:  

I really don’t either, but I always appreciate the lengths other people will go in order to entertain me online. 🙂 

Post # 54
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

@Baal:  +10000

 

 

Post # 57
Hostess
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Like PP have mentioned, it’s really not her business when you and your Fiance get married.  Get married when you feel it’s right.

Post # 58
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@iluvmy67cuda:  So I have your story straight?   The mother is married to her own brother?   Or am I confused?

Post # 60
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Isn’t there a way if you tell someone all of these facts that those kids would be taken away from her right away?   This is all just craziness to me.  I think you would be able to obtain custody easily.

Post # 61
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ok, I am probably going to be slightly more brutal as I doubt the complete genuity of this post. Something just seems off. I wrote a LONG post and deleted it, because if this is not bogus, you are not looking for advice, but validation. In that case I cannot help you.

in my humble  opinion:

  • Your FI’S FIRST responisibility is to the children. Especially if he thinks some have suffered DIRECT sexual abuse and all suffered from physical, emotional and indirect sexual abuse. He should jump through WHATEVER HOOPS HE HAS TO, to get them the help and support they need-I mean, you have moved in, but there is no room at present for them to live comfortably. He needs to get the living arrangements sorted to strenghten his case for custody.

  • He is their only ‘sane’  parent and his actions do not come across as completely normal. For a child it is frighteningly quick and somewhat self serving.They have suffered terrible abuse and instead of him getting them out, he is moving in with you and planning a wedding. Clearly they are feeling like there are problems in your relationship, hence they are worried about the fall out. and want to be a priority to him.

  • He needs to take his health more seriously. How is his cancer, what is it’s status? How can he provide for kids when he is not looking after himself. They have a crazy mother and a father who may or may not be around for long.

  • As a parent, I say this. Stop trying to be the daughter’s friend. I have seen enough parents do this to say,  She needs a parent, to take responsibilty for her care and safety. Not saying you can’t be friendly, or be close to her.  Just get some adult friends to offload on. Let her be a child.

  • I think he should take the $300, and consult with someone, lawyer, social worker, family therapist,  someone professional, to find out how best to move forward in helping the children settle. Whether he has just visitation for now and  applies for custody later. Seeing as the grandmother has some sort of emergency custody, why was he bypassed? fix those things.

  • Please, out of respect for those who are actually suffering and those who have watched loved ones suffer DO NOT  throw words like tumour around. You have a cyst, yes. But using words associated with such an evil diesease as cancer seemingly to provoke sympathy will just leave a bad taste in people’s mouth.

 

There are so many other options for you both to take. The children are crying out for someone to put them first for a change. I think that your Fiance should do what is  best  for the kids, then worry about the wedding.

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