Step-daughter's room is VERY messy: HELP!

posted 2 years ago in Home
Post # 121
Member
14 posts
Newbee

Miss-Mauverick :   she’s manipulating him to shut him up. Before I came along, my step kids had no rules. Got everything they wanted. Didn’t have to go to school if they claimed they didn’t feel good. It’s been an up hill battle. My fiancé is like your hubs. He will tell his kids the same thing over and over and over. Same results. I’ve finally gotten him to give out consequences. His daughter is like yours. ‘Yes dad. Ok dad. I won’t do it again’. He believes it. Shocker, it’s all bs and things don’t change. You have to get your husband on board. It will take time but he needs to change. My fiancé is slowly changing and I try not to be impatient. You two should go to counseling too. The therapist will back you up and give him tools how to implement these changes. 

Post # 122
Member
11648 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Glad his talk went well, that is a great first step. 

When he gets home, you guys can talk about how you can help her stay on track. A calendar with the indications of when the cleaning person is expected might help her for a few months and then if she is doing well, you can ask her to mark up the calendar so she learns how to plan and take steps for a future event. 

These tools are going to help her immensely. I’m so glad your husband was willing to listen, don’t be surprised if he takes a big step back after such a growth leap. But keep forging ahead, you guys can do this. 

Post # 123
Member
2221 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’m naturally a pretty messy person, and at age 23, I could easily see a scenario where I just got lazy AF about my little domain and left it messy and gross.  Especially with video games and social media and everything that *could* command constant attention from a young adult, it wouldn’t be that hard to just get in a dirty slobby rut.  In college, my housemates and I would leave gross dirty dishes out for a week or more, just out of slobbiness… all while being perfectly mentally healthy and managing the very challenging demands of a top 10 liberal arts college.  

I think your kid is just lazy and taking advantage of the situation.  Which is why it would behoove everyone to make her work a little harder at life before this becomes a permanent rut.

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