(Closed) step fathers role @ step daughters wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so sorry; I can understand you being upset about this.  However, I’m afraid your daughter can ask whomever she wants to walk her down the aisle.  I hate to ask, but if she does not “feel” as though he’s her father, perhaps there is something lacking in their relationship that you may not have noticed?  It’s hard to guess when we’re only hearing one side of the story.

As a woman who is not having her own father walk her down the aisle (for a different reason), I can tell you that this decision was probably not easy on your daughter and she probably put a lot of time into it.  I don’t think you should both stay home at all – she gets married once and you should be there to support her, regardless of whether or not you agree with her decision of who is walking her down the aisle.

*hugs* I’m very sorry and I understand being upset, but other than talking to your daughter and asking for her reasoning, I’m afraid there’s not much else you can do from my standpoint.

Post # 4
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree this really is her decision to make.  I would hate for you to miss out on your own daughter’s wedding because of this.  Can you suggest to her that you know it would mean a lot to him if she did something else special to honor him?  Maybe they can do a dance together?  But if she chooses to have him attend as just a guest with no special treatment you have to respect that.  As a previous poster said, there may be something going on in their relationship that you are unaware of.

Post # 5
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

I understand why you are upset, but if your daughter doesn’t view your husband as a father to her, there is nothing you or your husand can do or say to change her mind.  Perhaps she feels disrespectful to her decesased father to have her step dad walk her down the aisle. 

That being said, its her decision to have whoever she wants walk her down the aisle and you need to respect her decision.  You and your husband should not skip your daughter’s wedding because you disagree with her decision.  You would most likely regret that decision and it would drive a huge wedge in your relationship with your daughter.

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