Post # 1
my daughters biological father died when she was 7 I married 2 yrs later. this man “JOHN” raised my daugher from 9 to the present, (she is 21) soon 22. she is getting married next yr 2011, and refuses to let her stepdad give her away at her wedding. she is having her cousin. Im not sure if im ok with this. I have respect her decision but i don’t like it. My husband will be crushed. He was a huge influence in her life..helped raise her, paid for college, She feels he’s not her father at all. should have no parts in it? Is this wrong. Should we both just stay home? im so devistated these past few days?? Anyone have suggestions?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry; I can understand you being upset about this. However, I’m afraid your daughter can ask whomever she wants to walk her down the aisle. I hate to ask, but if she does not “feel” as though he’s her father, perhaps there is something lacking in their relationship that you may not have noticed? It’s hard to guess when we’re only hearing one side of the story.
As a woman who is not having her own father walk her down the aisle (for a different reason), I can tell you that this decision was probably not easy on your daughter and she probably put a lot of time into it. I don’t think you should both stay home at all – she gets married once and you should be there to support her, regardless of whether or not you agree with her decision of who is walking her down the aisle.
*hugs* I’m very sorry and I understand being upset, but other than talking to your daughter and asking for her reasoning, I’m afraid there’s not much else you can do from my standpoint.
Post # 4
I agree this really is her decision to make. I would hate for you to miss out on your own daughter’s wedding because of this. Can you suggest to her that you know it would mean a lot to him if she did something else special to honor him? Maybe they can do a dance together? But if she chooses to have him attend as just a guest with no special treatment you have to respect that. As a previous poster said, there may be something going on in their relationship that you are unaware of.
Post # 5
I understand why you are upset, but if your daughter doesn’t view your husband as a father to her, there is nothing you or your husand can do or say to change her mind. Perhaps she feels disrespectful to her decesased father to have her step dad walk her down the aisle.
That being said, its her decision to have whoever she wants walk her down the aisle and you need to respect her decision. You and your husband should not skip your daughter’s wedding because you disagree with her decision. You would most likely regret that decision and it would drive a huge wedge in your relationship with your daughter.