(Closed) Step Mom Being Escorted down the ailse

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
46452 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It may come off as self-serving if you insist on your husband escorting you.It might come off as you still trying to assert your role as the new wife. Normally, Dad doesn’t make an appearance until he escorts his daughter.

That doesn’t mean you have to ” go to my seat via a side aisle”. You should be escorted to your seat by an usher, or a groomsman if they are not having ushers, the same as the rest of the family members.

Post # 4
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Your husband should really only be escorting his daughter, the BRIDE, down the aisle.  I’m sure an usher can escort you to your seat.

Post # 5
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with the others- I think you should find someone else to escort you down the aisle. I don’t think who’s paying for the wedding has anything to do with it, either.

Post # 6
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Shouldn’t it be the bride a grooms choice? It’s their moment. My advice is to ask her.

Post # 7
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Can’t one of the other ushers walk you down the aisle?  Those last few moments when the father of the bride is with the bride in the back before walking down the aisle are really special, and if he is taken away to escort you down the aisle, that is taking away from their father/daughter moment.  Also, as PPs said, the father usually is first seen when walking the bride down the aisle. 

Post # 8
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think it’s appropriate for your husband to seat you.  Your husband should be with his daughter until the time they walk down the aisle.

I had my stepmother walked down the aisle to her seat by my brother.  Do you have another important male in the family that could escort you to your seat?

Post # 10
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you should ask your husband and your step dauther in a kind tone. Ask something like “I was just wondering if you had any ideas on who might walk me to my seat?” and whatever answer they give, accept it. If they say hmm I don’t know suggest someone other than your husband and other than the sons.

Post # 11
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree with the rest, your husband should only be escorting the bride down the aisle. Especially if there isn’t a great relationship between you and her, you taking those few special moments she has with her dad would only cause more tension.  Just ask her who she would like to escort you down the aisle.  

Post # 12
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah, i don’t see why you think your husband should walk you down the aisle.  For biological married parents of the bride the MOB doesn’t get walked down the aisle by the FOB, so I don’t see why your situation is any different.   My mom is being walked down by an usher.

Post # 13
Member
1519 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You need to do what his daughter wants. In my first marriage, my FIL’s long time gf just assumed she would be escorted down the aisle and be in all of our pics. It totally enraged me. You need to swallow your pride and abide by the wishes of the bride, whatever those may be.

Post # 14
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can not believe this hasnt been addressed during all the wedding planning. Though I do not believe footing the bill earns you say, it should earn respect. Can you, your husband and stepdaughter sit down and discuss. I find a lot of wedding traditions out of date because there is such a variety of families today. You should not be walking down the aisle alone, you are the wife of the father of the bride someone should be escorting you to your seat. 

Post # 15
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If the groomsmen/ushers are your stepsons, that seems ideal then if one of them walks you down the isle. You seem very upset with how you’ve been treated in the past, but I assure you this is quite standard and they are not out to get you. (Also, why would you expect your family to be invited? It’s the bride and grooms wedding… While it might have been nice had they done that, I suspect it usually only happens when the bride/groom is close to the steppatenrs family and spends a lot of time with them/grew up with them). Did you ask your husband if he even wants to walk your down first? He too may treasure those moments beforehand with his daughter. I just see making a fuss about this (by trying to walk diwn with your husband or the side aisle) is likely to drive a deeper wedge between you and your stepdaughter. If you must do something, enter like a regular guest – no procession but down the middle in the middle of everyone else and blend in.

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