Step Mother-in-Law upset after our wedding

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
9429 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think that’s really self absorbed and obnoxious of her. Just tell her youre sorry her feelings were hurt but for the sake of brevity only parents were mentioned! And that’s that. You don’t need to explain yourself anymore, she’s being ridiculous.

Post # 3
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

She needs to chill out, drop it and move on. your DH was an adult by the time she was even in the picture anyway- it’s not like she helped raise him as a child. He’s not her son. just ignore her comments. I would have handled it exactly the same way. 

Post # 4
943 posts
Busy bee

MrsMounty:  12 years is a long time to be involved with somebody and their family. I can see where her hurt is coming from. Did your DH father contribute to the wedding? If he did, don’t you think his wife was included in that decision? Has she not been a part of the family for the past 12 years?

When my step sister got married she completely left my mother out. Even though my mom had helped raised her and the reason that my step sister got the amount of money she did was because of my mother.

I guess my point is, just because they aren’t “blood” doesn’t mean that haven’t invested time and energy into being part of a family. And it is rude to exclude that.

Post # 6
5278 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

MrsMounty:  Sounds like she’s being obnoxious. Did she bring this up directly to you? Id say this: While we would have loved to thank everyone, we wanted to keep our speech short. We are happy you are in our lives and thanks for supporting us at our wedding. Im sorry if our speech offended you (not saying sorry you didnt thank her…just sorry she got offended) but we did not intend that at all. 

Post # 8
45534 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MrsMounty:  Has she raised any of these issues with you directly? If not, I would just ignore them.

Post # 9
1968 posts
Buzzing bee

She cannot make you feel bad unless you let her do so.

Who reported her alleged complaint to you? I would be curious as to the motive for telling you, since there is no remedy you can make for whatever mistake she might think you made.

I think you should absolutely take the high road on this one. Her position, if it exists, doesn’t deserve to be dignified by a response; your position doesn’t require any reaction.

Hope your wedding was exactly as you wanted it to be!

Post # 11
3608 posts
Sugar bee

MrsMounty:  Some people like to make a big deal out of nothing. I don’t think you could have done anything different in this situation because that’s how you felt and how you feel. If you wanted a short and simple speech and felt like you included everyone you needed to than you did what was best for you. If she can’t get over it that is her own problem. If there is one thing in life we can’t do, it’s please everyone and make them happy.

Post # 13
76 posts
Worker bee

errpr – wrong thread

Post # 14
29 posts
  • Wedding: February 2019

She is completely out of line lol. My parents seperated when i was 19 and my father has a new partner. But there is no way that i will be thanking her specifically in my wedding speeches, nor would i expect/want my fiancee to do so either. It might sound harsh, but she is not your husbands mother, nor should she expect to be treated like it. The Step MIL did not raise your fiancee (as he was 19 when his parents seperated).

Post # 15
29 posts
  • Wedding: February 2019

Omg i just realised how old this thread was tongue-out

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