Step mother in law

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 2
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Since it is only one chair and one plate of food I would invite her… obviously no special meal though!  Then when it is time to give the caterer the final number ask your SMIL again if her daughter will definitely be coming and inform her of what the meal will be.  Let her then give you an answer based on the fact she won’t eat the meal and she may tell her mom at that time she doesn’t really want to come.  Also, more than one person will RSVP yes, and not show.  You could just not count on her and if she does come there will be a chair available…. Unless you are doing assigned seating.  Then that last part won’t work!  Hope you are able to relax and try enjoy the planning part!

Post # 3
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

As for the stepsister, you said she could come. There really is nothing to handle anymore. She’s now invited to your wedding. As you say, she probably won’t come and even though it’s annoying to pay for a no-show, it’s a the bucket in terms of overall wedding expenses. Just shrug it off as “annoying family” and forget about it.

As for her calling you a bitch, that’s a whole different thing, but it may be very odd to bring it up now as it occurred a few months after you started dating so presumably quite a while in the past. I’d honestly probably let it go at this point unless name-calling and verbal abuse are parts of her pattern of behavior. It’s not okay, but the time to address it has passed.

Post # 4
1571 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@alexweiand1: Send her an RSVP as you would any other guest. You don’t need to cater to her dietary preferences. Finally, you could have avoided this issue by not inviting your step Mother-In-Law: you didn’t owe her an invite.

Post # 5
8029 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You already said that she could come, so that ship has sailed. Just don’t offer spaghetti as a meal option and hopefully she will decline. 

Post # 6
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

I think you did the right thing. She will be your SO’s stepsister despite never seeing her/getting to know her. and even though his step-mom is awful, I don’t think you could get away with not inviting her unless you wanted to cause major family upheaval. 

Post # 8
34 posts

I mean with a mother like that it’s no wonder the daughter is a bit odd. She may be rude because she was never taught to be polite. I’d be kind to her, you never know what she’s been through with a mother like that.


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