- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
I am a Step Mom of 2 children ages 15 and 12. It’s a unique situation though because technically speaking I am actually their adoptive Mom. My Darling Husband has has them since they were 5 and 8 in foster care and has since adopted our 12 year old but do to some complicated circumstances our 15 year old has to remain a foster child so visits with their Mom can still go threw the state but her goal is independece (pretty sure I spelled that wrong :/) so she won’t EVER be returning home. They have supervised visits once a week for 2 hours we have tried in the past unsupervised visits and even overnights but bio mom complained and didn’t want them that much then proceeded to tell the kids a bunch of lies saying once my Darling Husband and I get married we will get rid of them and have kids of our own etc. She really messed them up for awhile so now her visits can never be unsupervised again and a case worker ALWAYS has to be the one to supervise them because she is to unstable for Darling Husband and I to do it anymore. Lately I have found myself doing things for the kids that I know will make her know how much I care for them. Sounds weird but for example today our 15 year old turns 15! She is having a visit with her Mom after school for her bday so we won’t see her till late tonight (birthday visits are longer) I sent flowers, balloons, and a card to her school today all while knowing she will have to take it on her visit with her. I know her Mom will be offended that I sent her them but I don’t care. I guess I want to make her know I am here not going anywhere and I care for the kids as if they were my own. Any other Step Parents struggle with their relationship with the other parent? Ever want to one up them? I find myself wanting to one up her even though its really immature I just hate her for what she put the kids threw. I don’t let the kids see it though I still always take them to get her a Christmas gift, Mothers day gift, and birthday present on her bday.