- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2009
This is what I fear. I will be married in June and my FH has 6 and 7 year old boys. They will live with us full-time, but I know they have no loyalty to me. I fear they will grow up and resent me or only want to be with their mom. She has not done much to earn their love or respect… and I will be footing the bill financially and emotionally to raise these beautiful kids
Anyways, I think the most important that I have learned (from my FH that was previously a stepdad) is that the parenting from the two parents in the home do NOT conflict. Your husband needs to back you up and vice versa. It doesn’t sound like this happened in your case and now you are seeing the backlash. Be sure to get that together for the 13 year old so that it doesn’t happen again.
I know exactly what you mean. Their mother left when my stepson was 3. He met me when i was 4 and since then i have taken care of him, financially, physicalled and emotionally. He is now 13 and now has a relationship with his mother and she can do NO wrong. She backs out of weekends and changes her mind about plans with him and he adores her. My husband went thru the same thing with his mother and he says that mothers can do no wrong in little boys eyes.
As far as his daughter, i agree we should be united on things, but we never were. He never wanted her to suffer any consequences for anything she did when i did. He always won out because he knew she would make his life a living hell if she didn’t get her way….he took the easy way out. Luckily she doesn’t live with us anymore and is getting married soon but everyday this relationship i have with her (or essentially DON’T have with her) is on my mind and it puts my husband in the middle. Tho it does make me feel a little better that my husband admits he’s made mistakes, i’ve dont nothing wrong and his daughter is not the nicest person and no at all easy to get along with.
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