Post # 1
Backstory: My brother and stepdad generally get along. My brother wasn’t raised by my mom or stepdad but I was. However, recently my stepdad has had a firm dislike for my brother for certain reasons I won’t get into. My father died when I was very, very young and my stepdad has raised me since I was 5 years old. I know when I get married, the debate or arguement will arise on who should walk me down the aisle. They’re both important to me, but truth be told, I wish my grandfather or father was here instead. I miss them so much.
Anyways, I don’t want to have a heated debate over which of two important male family members “gives me away” so which is the best option?
Post # 3
I think you should do whatever feels right to you! If you want to pick your brother or your stepfather, then that is your choice and they should respect it. If you want to walk yourself down the aisle, who says you can’t? I hope you pick what makes you happy 🙂
Perhaps you could walk yourself down the aisle and include a photo of your father in the brochure, if you’re making one. You could include a caption in loving memory of him. If you believe this (I don’t want to project my personal beliefs on you, I’m religious) you could even write that you know he is making this walk with you. Just an idea.
Have a wonderful wedding!
Post # 4
Seeing as you can’t have either of the people that you really want to walk you down the aisle (your father or grandfather), I voted for you to walk alone. This way, you’re not choosing between two other people who are very important to you and potentially creating any animosity between them.
Another option could be to have your mother walk you? I always thought that if my father was unable to walk me down the aisle for whatever reason that I would ask my mother to do it. My Father-In-Law passed away a few years ago, only having the chance to walk 1 of his 3 daughters down the aisle. One of my SILs is currently engaged and has asked my Mother-In-Law (rather than my Darling Husband – her brother) to walk her down the aisle, which my Mother-In-Law was thrilled about.
Post # 5
Did your step dad raise you since you were five? Then he “should” walk you down the aisle unless you have problems with him. Unless your brother helped raise you then I don’t see why he should walk you down the aisle.
Post # 6
If your stepdad has raised you since you were 5 then it seems he has very much filled the role of a father in your life, so he would be the obvious choice. I don’t know what happened between him and your brother but I would honestly find it pretty weird if your brother was fighting to be the one to walk you down the aisle.
Or you could just ask your mum.
Post # 9
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
I personally would have both walking me down the aisle. They both seem important to you
Post # 10
Can they both handle walking you down the aisle without drama? If not, perhaps stepfather walk you down the aisle and can your brother be part of the wedding party?
Post # 11
I would choose having only your stepfather or having your stepfather and mother walk you down the isle. I would only choose brother and maybe brother/mother if there was no father or step father in the picture. I don’t think it’s really a thing for a brother to walk their sister down the isle and I think it would be insulting to your step father if you don’t include him. Your brother could be included in other ways.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2018 - City, State
My Brother is walking me down the aisle so it definitely is ‘a thing’ 🙄
My dad passed away just over two years ago, at the same time my mother decided she didn’t want to be in our lives and so won’t be attending my wedding.
It is heartbreaking that our dads won’t be there to share our days with us – I think either your bro or stepdad would be honoured to walk you down the aisle – I don’t think it is insulting to either whichever choice you make.
Post # 13
@Bumblebug So, I’ve asked my mom and she just doesn’t want to because she knows she’ll be a blubbering mess. I won’t force her to; I know my mom gets very emotional at these life events since I’m the youngest child.
@latebloomerbee78 I see your point there, my stepdad is very close to me & he could very well be hurt. What bothers me though is like what daisymae said about honoring my father, my stepdad gets…how to put it…unhappy when my father is mentioned like it’s a competition between them. Which is frankly upsetting and childish since my father is deceased.
Post # 14
Well if he gets upset anytime your father is mentioned that is just not gonna work. Your mom needs to have a discussion with him and let him know you will be honoring your father and including your brother in your big day. He could walk you down the aisle, be in the wedding party, do a reading at the ceremony or actually marry you. This is not a dig at him, but simply the way it should be. As far as the walk down the aisle, he may get upset and refuse to do it if your brother is involved and that solves your problem right there. You want both, ask both.
Post # 15
Well if he gets upset then that would make me decide to walk down alone and have a picture of my father on my bouquet as though he is walking me down the aisle. He shouldn’t feel like its a competition especially since your dead has been deceased for quite some time. He also shouldn’t expect to completely take your fathers place in your heart. – not saying that’s how he feels but in your mind if you’re not rushing to ask either of them then walk alone and honor your dad.