Post # 16
alicebee123 : sorry I wasn’t clear on what I meant, if there was no stepfather (who has raised her since 5 years old) in the picture ofcourse her brother in that case. I had a cousin who was walked by her brother who had lost her father and it was a beautiful and touching moment. I am sorry for your loss…
@gaminggoddess: If you didnt have a good relationship with your stepfather then it would be a non issue. But he needs to take a step back when it comes to comparing himself to your father, it just needs to not happen, especially during special moments like your wedding where you want to honor your real father in some way. Starting to like the idea of you walking alone since otherwise may lead to misunderstandings between brother and stepfather. How about asking your brother on his opinion on this one?
Post # 17
latebloomerbee78 : I will be asking my brother when the time is right what his thoughts are about the tradition. I don’t really have any family weddings to compare it to (on what they did) because my granparents (mom’s side) had an untraditional wedding in the 70’s (second marriage for both) and my mom had a very small wedding at a courthouse.
I know my brother pretty well though and it seems everything in my immediate friends and family circle, when it comes to the males, is an act of bravado or being macho or who’s “more of a man”. Especially when it concerns me, my wellbeing, and my happiness since I am the family’s & my friend’s “little princess” since being youngest & kindest of both groups (although if anyone calls me princess I hate it). It’s very tiring when,
M1 I’m gonna do this for you
M2 Well I’m gonna do this better thing
M3 Well I’m gonna take it to the next level.
Everything is a competition it feels.
Post # 18
My parenta got divorced when I was around 5, my stpedad raised me as his own and never had to deal with my bio dad because he lived in anither country/never did much to have a relaionahip with me. My dad appeared again when I was around 18 and I tried to have a relationship with him, my stepdad got jelous and I knew he didn’t like it.
I never had the best relationship with my bio dad, and he died a couple of years ago. When I was getting married I wanted to honour him, but knew my stepdad (who I call dad) would be upset. I had a pendant my dad gave me tied into my bouquet, so he was there walking me down the aisle too.
I also chose a song my dad dedicated me to dance with my stepdad without telling him why I was picking it. He just went along with whatever I wanted so I honored my dad without hurting the feelings of the man who raised me and loves me as his own.
Post # 19
gaminggoddess : your last update makes me think walking alone (or maybe eith your mother?) could be the best option. I personally wouldn’t want any drama on who “gets to give me away” and, if all this competition is bothering you, this could be a good signal.
You could also have your fiancé walk with you, would you like it? Where I live it is quite common for the spouses to walk down the aisle together, because it is the official Catholic nuptial liturgy (despite what most people think). It symbolizes their free mutual commitment to leave their parents to form another family and “become one”. I thimk it is so much sweeter and moving than “giving away the bride”.
If you feel being escorted by some family member down the aisle is important, I’d suggest your mother (and step father maybe). If you want a male, I’d say step father, while including your brother as a groomsman. Maybe you could walk down the aisle with one of them and have the first dance with the other?
Post # 20
Can they both walk with you?