Post # 1
Anyone here actually close to their step-siblings? I wonder if my situation is totally out of the norm. It would’ve been nice to have had a sibling since i was an only child, but i just can’t and will never consider my stepsister as a sibling. Technically i have a stepsister, but she’s really nothing more than an aqaintance to me. I think a lot of dynamics played into it. She is my dad’s stepdaughter. I lived with and was raised by my mom, and only visited my dad (where my stepsister lived) every other weekend and holidays. She hated the “intrusion” of me coming over and most weekends wouldn’t speak to me, and my dad and his wife allowed this. Pretty much she hid in her bedroom when i was there. So no bond was ever formed. Stepsis was treated as the golden child who could do no wrong, and I was always told not to “bother” her. Plus we were a bit older (12 and 14) when my dad and his wife married. Now 20 years later she’s someone i see once a year at christmas. We say hello and maybe small chit chat and thats the extent of our “relationship”. I will always consider myself and only child cause thats how i grew up. I was not raised with her. My stepmother becomes furious if i say i’m an only child. But biologically thats what i am. I don’t care how mad my stepmother gets I will always say i’m an only. Its what i am and how i grew up as an only. Plus its pretty hard to consider a stepsibling who lived in another home and barely acknowledged my existence as a “sibling”. I’m much closer to my cousins and even aqaintances from church than i ever will be with my stepsister. Even my dad barely has a relationship with her cause she just seldom talks to him as well. He will call her his “daughter” (to appease his wife who wants to create this false nuclear family) but they definitely do not have a father/daughter relationship. If my dad barely has a relationship with her when he lived with her for 15 years, how can i who wasn’t around her much be expected to have a relationship with her.
I am having an intimiate wedding and she is not on the list of invites. While technically she’s “immediate family” it would feel so strange to have her there. She’s not someone i’m close to and an intimiate wedding is really only for those who you are close to. I have yet to tell my dad and his wife that my stepsister isn’t invited. My dad i think will understand, my stepmother well i anticipate her to become furious.
Post # 3
I have stepsiblings. But I never talk to them and dont really consider them family. The reason??
My father only got married to his recent wife last year. She has three adult kids. So they dont really feel like siblings at all. All grown kids on both sides. lol
Anyway, you can invite whoever you want. But be ready for your stepmother to be pissed. Which it sounds like you are.
Hope it works out.
Post # 4
@Allie99: I’m not close to my step brother at all and we lived together for several years. I talk to him every once in a while and occasionally he likes a picture of my daughter on fb, but he’s never even met her (she’s 18 months old)
Post # 5
My stepsister isn’t even involved in my life. She’s never met my fiance. We are so disconnected. Neither of us have eachother’s addresses. Neither of us even have eachother’s telephone numbers and i probably wouldn’t recognize her if i saw her away from a family event. I am fully ready for stepmom to be upset, but i really don’t care. Stepmom and I aren’t close either, but kinda have to invite her cause she’s my dad’s wife. Its different with a stepsibling you never see and don’t have a relationship with. I think its easier to justify not inviting them.
Post # 6
I have three step sisters but I am only close with one. She is also my Maid/Matron of Honor. I love her to death.
Post # 7
@Allie99: I don’t understand why your step mother gets upset when you say you’re an only child, you are an only child. Your step sister is only a part of your life because of your father marrying her mother. If they divorced she’d be a stranger to you. If you aren’t close to her, don’t invite her to your intimate wedding. Doesn’t sound like she will even mind not being invited.
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Allie99: I have two stepsisters and one half sister. I still consider myself to be an only child because I was 13 before I met my steps and my half sis is 17 years younger than me.
Post # 9
I have a step sister and two step brothers. I love my step sister and one of step brothers to death (they are full brother and sister) but, we all grew up together with my mum and their dad and all my other siblings. But the other step brother, I don’t know him, I’ve only met him once and that was at my nans funeral .
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center
I have a stepbrother and a stepsister, but I am extremely close to them. Then again they were 2 and 4 when my parents started dating (I was 18), so they were around a lot. They are my family, so it wasn’t a surprise when my stepsister was a jr. bridesmaid in my wedding and my stepbrother was an usher.
Darling Husband on the other hand has a stepsister who has met all of two times and honestly doesn’t even feel comfortable with calling her such. He just says it’s his Dad’s wife’s daughter (equally awkward in my book, but I understand, given the lack of their relationship, and the fact that he’s not super close to his stepmom (especially because she had an affair with his father before his parents were divorced)).
At the end of the day, she never made an effort to get close to you and your father and stepmom only helped that by telling you not to bother her. She honestly should not be too surprised, and if she is, then that is her problem to deal with. It’s not personal, its just that you want to be surrounded by your nearest and dearest, and speaking to her in passing a few times a year does not make her that. Don’t feel bad in the slightest.