- 10 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
Hey Bees, I’ve got to get this off my chest, sorry. I’m having some issues with my stepsister…
Heres some background info: My mom and dad split when I was 2 but they’ve always had a very cordial relationship and were very loving attentive parents. My stepsister “Jane”s mother was negligent and basically left the family, although they still have contact. I met Jane when I was 6 and she was 9. I was an only child thrilled at the prospect of having a new “sister”. She, on the other hand, resented my mom and I both because her dad was trying to form a new relationship with both my mom and I.
Through the years my mom treated Jane and her brother as her own and I always considered them my siblings. Now, Jane has NEVER liked me. She’s made that very clear. She’s told all of our family memebers that she’s jealous of me, that I’m a bitch, and tried to convince family (who she’s not biologically related to) that I’m a terrible person.
Despite her behavior, I’ve always tried to be there for her. I’ve stood up for her (against all the people who tell me she’s annoying and crazy) I was the one at her bedside whe she was in a major auto accident four years ago. She easily forgets all of these things.
BACK TO THE PRESENT:
My Fiance and I got engaged in July. My mom sent a video of the propsal to our family members, Jane included. My Mom was upset that Jane hadn’t congratulated me or said a word in response and told Jane’s father that. He sgreed and decided he was going to talk to her about it. Jane’s response was that she was mad at me because I deleted her from facebook and that i’m aloof.
My explanation (and what I wish I could tell her):
1)Yes, I did delete her facebook. She deleted both my mom and I. She gave no reason, it was out of the blue. So I added her back and then I thought “Hey Why the hell am I adding her when she’s the one who doesn’t want anything to do with me?” DELETE
2) Yes, I am aloof. She openly dislikes me, maybe even hates me, for no apparent reason. Why would I try to force myself one someone who doesn’t want to be around me? So last time I decided that I would avoid her, and possible conflict as much as I could. If a conversation seemed like it was going down the wrong path, I would excuse myself.
I sent her a message last night, it read:
Hey Jane, how’s it going? Haven’t talked in a while. I don’t really know what’s going on but I wanted you to know that there are no hard feelings on my end. Hope you’re doing well.
she hasn’t responded and my mom thinks she won’t
I’m at the end of my rope…There’s nothing I want more than to have a sister standing by me at my wedding, but I’m not wiling to let her behavior ruin my life or take any more of my time.
Does she really hate me? Is she jealous that I’m engaged before her and her SO who have been dating 6 months longer than my Fiance and I? I know she’s had hardships in her life but so have we all.
Thanks for reading. Some objective insight or advice would be appreciated