(Closed) Stick to my guns or play nicely???

posted 7 years ago in African-American
Post # 3
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

How big is your wedding?

Post # 5
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It’s probably not the answer you want, but at this point, I’d let them come. Honestly, this seems like an issue you and your Fiance should have come to a firm consensus over when making the guest list. Whereever communication broke down–or even if your Fiance went against the original agreement, what’s done is done.

Your Fiance has already told some people that they could bring their kiddos, to go back and say “well. . . actually, you can’t” just seems a bit harsh and would seem very controlling, if not rude. I don’t have children, but if someone changed their mind on this issue, I would defintely have some things to say. While it might not be your perfect vision, maybe there is a way to make up some child-friendly (keep em busy) grab bags and maybe have a sitter available for the ceremony

. . . and grit your teeth and think of how adorable those photos will be. :-/

Post # 7
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m having an adult only wedding, and from the get go, I told my Fiance it might be tricky to pull this off and he had to have my back. Solidarity is the way to go, but ultimately, you have to do what’s right for you and your Fiance and he really needs to get on board with it for it to be effective.

Post # 8
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry to keep asking questions, but have you already sent out your invitations?

Post # 10
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

LoL.. I’m probably just a meanie, but I would definitely make Fiance uninvite the midgets.  Tell them that there’s no space or something.  I just don’t have the patience for really small kids.  It depends on the particular child, too though.

Post # 11
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I would tell Fiance that he needs to call everyone he told they could bring their children OR he is welcome to pay for their meals and place settings(I am paying for the wedding, Fiance is paying for the honeymoon). I do NOT want kids at mine and Fiance agrees, they are always in the way and we want people to relax and socialize not have to worry about kids.

It sounds like he went behind your back, and agaisnt your mutual decision not to invite kids. You said he didn’t understand or did he not want to understand? Sometimes men do that… 🙂

Post # 12
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

For me its difficult becauseI have about 4 kids in the wedding party. I am inviting a specific number of people – I know a few people have decided to bring babies – I told them that is fine but I didnt want to see them running around etc. Those are people that are very close to me – I also still have hope that we will get a babysitter to stay with some of the kids in the other room –

Can you see if you can ge a babysitter and have a room that kids can go to if they are running around too much?

Post # 13
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am having an adult only reception. I dont want children even my own child running around like crazy. So I say stick to your guns. BUT that was a decision Fiance and I made together. You need to get him on the same page. Bc if he okays kids and some show up that you told people no kids there are going to be pissed off people for “picking and choosing” etc.

Post # 14
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Can you explain to the people he told could bring their kids that you just dont want them there? Tell them something along the lines of how you want your friends and family to really be able to enjoy themselves and the event and that they wont be able to do so if they are watching their children all night.  Versus, you know, “your kid is a heathen” 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MsChievous08: I am a mother and when I have been invited to an adult only wedding, I find a babysitter for my daughter so I would say have it the way you originally had it with no children.

 

Good Luck

 

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