(Closed) Sticking to the Plan… *sigh*

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think it might be stressful for him to talk about it now. He probably already feels bad that he lost his job and doesn’t have as much $$ for the ring as you both might have assumed in the past. 

Is there any specific reason you need a year-long engagement? I would say if you are both on the same page about getting married next summer, it doesn’t hurt to wait a few months to get a ring. 

Post # 4
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Are you willing to get a non precious stone in your ring… or even a CZ?  If so, you could maybe mention to him when the time is right that you’d prefer to get a CZ ring for now… and that you guys can always upgrade for a 5 or 10 year anniversary!

That would let you guys get engaged now without worrying too much about money… and would give you your one year engagement.

I guess the key question is: which do you feel more strongly about… getting a diamond, or having a full year engagement?  If it’s the latter, then mentioning flexibility around the ring might be your best bet.

Good luck!!!

Post # 6
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t have been comfortable buying a CZ ring either, unless my SO made it very clear to me that she was OK with it.

I personally think it’s incredibly romantic for a guy to hear an SO say that she doesn’t care if the ring is a plain band with a CZ rock.  It makes you feel like she really wants to just marry you, and doesn’t care about the material things in life.

In any case, if you do talk about the ring… I would be very explicit about being happy with a birthstone ring for your engagement (or even, preferring it – if that’s how you feel, that is).  Getting engaged is an area where most guys don’t want to take a chance without very clear guidance!

Post # 7
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think regardless of how the ring situation turns out, you can definitely start planning before the official proposal so that you have enough time. If you both decided to get married, I think that’s enough to consider yourself engaged. 

Post # 8
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I dont see a problem with you bringing up the engagement if you two have already previously discussed it and have a set a time frame it might ease the stress of thinking about it.

Post # 9
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I was going to add exactly what GirlWithARing said! LOL. There are plenty of bees on here that have started planning with their SO before there is actually a ring. I believe a proposal isnt about the ring but the actual decision on getting married that to me alone means you are engaged.

Post # 10
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think it is perfectly OK to bring up this conversation with your SO…you are not pressuring him you are just having an informative conversation.  and if you are OK with an aquamarine ring and OK with planning even before a ring just make sure that you tell your SO that…im sure it has been somewhere in the back of his mind too and he is just prob not sure now to talk about it…so it actually may be a relief if you bring it up!

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