(Closed) Sticky kids situation with invites

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

you are saying “kids aren’t invited” by filling in the blank and only putting the adults’ names on the envelopes. if people cross out the number and write in their kids, you’ll have to call them and explain their kids aren’t invited.

Post # 4
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i have struggled with this too and i’ve kind of made it a point for my mom and FI’s mom to put the word out there about kids not being allowed. I dont mind if they come to the ceremony but i do not plan on feeding them. I dont even mind if they are at the reception but only after dinner..when the dancing begins. We plan on deginating a hotel room (given our reception is at the same hotel) for pizza and movies for the kids to keep them occupied while we enjoy our nice dinner. maybe you could designate someone to get the word out?

Post # 5
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

On another thread a bride posted her invitation that included a phrase at the bottom ‘Since we are blessed with so many people who love and support us, we ask that you limit your number of guests who have been invited.’  However, she posted on here because people still included extra #s (kids, nonetheless) but she couldn’t have been more clear on the invites.

Post # 8
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Tell them you are giving your guests some child free time to enjoy. If they don’t get it be blunt. Let them know you are having an adult ceremony for adult enjoyment and for budgetary reasons. Nuff said.

Post # 9
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We had this concern as well.  We were really lucky and only had one family sort of complain and another who was confused.  We explained that there truly was not any room for any sort of set up (pack n’ play, etc) and that the only baby we were expecting was one who was 5 weeks old.  When they got to the venue, they completely understood.  Honestly, they would have been uncomfortable had they brought their child.  I think that the key is for parents to not be upset if their kids are not invited and for brides and grooms to not be upset about those parents who choose to stay at home with their kids.

EDIT:  I just wanted to add that we used the below wording on our website under the FAQ section to explain the reason why we were having no children…I got it from the ‘Bee but I can’t remember which post it was under.  You could just say this to people (obviously saying that bridal party kids and first cousins’ kids are coming)

“We look forward to dancing the night away with all of you but, due to the venue size, we are limited to an adult-only reception. Thanks for your understanding”

It’s awkward, but the thing to remember is that they are the ones who are being rude by adding extra people to your RSVP cards.  People should know enough to know that the people who are invited are the people whose names are on envelope….end of story.  So, if it happens, just be brave (I know this is difficult) and clearly explain the situation: due to space (venue style, etc) and budgetary constraints, you’ve had to limit the guest list to children of the bridal party and the kids of first cousins.  You can apologize….even though you really shouldn’t have too.  The other thing is that you can always say that you understand completely if they feel that because  you’re not inviting their kids you’ll understand if they are unable to come.  Most will find a babysitter. 

 

Post # 10
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

from a few recent threads people are going to cross out and add people no matter what you do.   one person invited 2 and they rsvp’d 12 – yes twelve

maybe adding “adult reception only”  will help but you are going to get questions/complaints so make sure both you and your Fiance are on the same battle plan to beat the complainers back

goodluck!

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