(Closed) Sticky Situation

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It sounds like the similarities between your two weddings end at “black dress.” 

I’d talk to her about that fact, and also note that black is a common, classy, neutral color.  It’s not like you’re both having lime green dresses! 

Post # 4
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

Anymore, black is a pretty popular wedding color, usually paired with a few others. I think your weddngs will be very different based on what you’ve described. Long vs. short,different accents in both design and color…

My nephew got engaged a few months ago, and when I was talking to his fiancee about wedding colors she liked, she mentioned wanting black and white with a third accent color. Her future husband’s sister’s wedding was black & white and red, my daughter’s wedding last year was black / white and fuschia, and her good friend’s wedding was in black/white and green. Lots of people are using black!

Are you considering making changes to your dresses because she’s upset?

Post # 5
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I don’t think there’s any cause for concern – black is a basic color, and it’s not “her color”. With the weddings being a few months apart, who’s going to remember?

Post # 6
3575 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Violachap summed it up perfectly.

Post # 8
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wow, I guess my mom forgot to teach me that code. On the one hand I see how you don’t want to start things off badly with your Future In-Laws, but really, I don’t see anything wrong with you both having black dresses, especially considering yours are long and hers are short. Maybe she’s annoyed because your wedding sounds classier than hers (I’m sorry, but hot pink and leopard? To each her own, I know, but how does her Fiance feel about that one?).

Post # 10
4505 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Use your ideas. No one will compare your weddings, at least not in terms of the colors. It sounds completely different anyway–black ad light blue vs. black with leopard boleros and hot pink! 

Post # 11
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Well if you want to get technical….black is not really a color.  It is pretty standard.  Most weddings these days have black and white or black and ivory with various other accent colors.  If she wanted a bright blue dress and so did you, well ok, then I would say maybe go with another color.  But black is black.  Plus, the dresses and general theme of both weddings are completely different from what you have described.  I wouldn’t worry about it!  Go for the black dress!

Post # 12
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

I say you should still use black dresses if you want them.  Your wedding sounds very different from your Future Sister-In-Law. 

Post # 14
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it sounds like you are having completely different weddings. I think you are good to go 🙂

Post # 15
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

On one side I can see how your sister would be upset. My SIL stole my colors, she got engaged after us and married before. I went ahead and changed my colors since I still had time and really wanted Tiffany Blue and Chocolate. I decided to have my guys in brown tuxes. My brother and SIL commented on how ugly they were and then went out and got brown tuxes for their own wedding and I didn’t find out until my father went to get fitted and told me. I was upset but I ended up still using brown tuxes month later, just a different style, and they looked great and noone remembers.

It’s something that she is upset over now but will get over later. I would just try talked to her a little more.

Post # 16
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

A code among women? I mean, that would hold true if you were stealing all of her wedding ideas. But the two events don’t sound similar at all. I think your Future Sister-In-Law is just over emotional. Perhaps if you highlight for her all the ginormous differences she will calm down a bit and stop focusing on one tiny similarity.

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