Post # 1
I’m looking for a bit of advice but i must say i know the correct decision but how to go about it.
Let me start by saying i am going to get married next year to the woman of my dreams but i found out some terrible news about my future wifes sisters boyfriend.
As it turns out, the boyfriend is a covicted peadophile after grooming a child of 12 years old for a few years and ended up sleeping with her. When i found this out, it made me physically sick and to know that this monster has actually been in my home around me and my loved ones. Luckily though he left the country where i stay.
I cant for the life of me know why my new sister in-law to be stands by this monster and not sure if its down to deperation – it just makes my skin crawl.
My fiance wants what is best for her sister but i do not want this person anywhere near our special day. We have taked about it and she knows my feelings and also my fiance wants this too. We have to tell her sister that he is not welcome but then my fiance is scared that her sister choses this monster of us on our big day.
I know people can forgive and forget, but this is still very fresh and the manner of what happened is hard for me to cope or understand who could do such a thing to innocent children.
Can anyone advise the best way to go about this?
Post # 3
Hmmmm….well….that’s a terrible thing right there.
My first question is does the sister-in-law know this? Why the mess is she dating this man?!
Recently I’ve had an encounter with this type of thing. The person who was molesting the young girl, who was around 12 years old when it happened, had been molested when he was a boy by a neighbor. This wasn’t found out until he was in extensive therapy. It doesn’t justify anything, but it’s interesting in terms of pondering the ‘why’ or ‘how’. I don’t know this person directly, and still have a hard time believing any amount of therapy will “cure” him, but I have sympathy for his mental illness and maladjustment. But, what I can say is that I would not ban him from my wedding because of it. I know it absolutely disgusts you, and it does me and anyone else on this planet who isn’t a child molester themselves. But, all it’s going to do is hurt your fiancee’s sister and cause drama. You don’t have to speak to the man, you don’t even have to look at him, but don’t create rifts because of it. Even though we are all guilty of judging him for his crimes and lack of a moral compass, it’s really not something psychologists even understand yet beyond assuming they lack something in the ethos sphere.
That’s just me though…I don’t think I’d be surprised if you refused to invite the guy, but don’t be surprised if the sister does not understand and is angry at you for it.
I am sorry you have to be in a situation that is so very uncomfortable.
Post # 4
@happyscot: Did you not get enough feedback in this post?
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