(Closed) HELP – getting monster away from our wedding

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Hmmmm….well….that’s a terrible thing right there.

My first question is does the sister-in-law know this? Why the mess is she dating this man?!

Recently I’ve had an encounter with this type of thing. The person who was molesting the young girl, who was around 12 years old when it happened, had been molested when he was a boy by a neighbor. This wasn’t found out until he was in extensive therapy. It doesn’t justify anything, but it’s interesting in terms of pondering the ‘why’ or ‘how’. I don’t know this person directly, and still have a hard time believing any amount of therapy will “cure” him, but I have sympathy for his mental illness and maladjustment. But, what I can say is that I would not ban him from my wedding because of it. I know it absolutely disgusts  you, and it does me and anyone else on this planet who isn’t a child molester themselves. But, all it’s going to do is hurt your fiancee’s sister and cause drama. You don’t have to speak to the man, you don’t even have to look at him, but don’t create rifts because of it. Even though we are all guilty of judging him for his crimes and lack of a moral compass, it’s really not something psychologists even understand yet beyond assuming they lack something in the ethos sphere.

That’s just me though…I don’t think I’d be surprised if you refused to invite the guy, but don’t be surprised if the sister does not understand and is angry at you for it.

I am sorry you have to be in a situation that is so very uncomfortable.

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