(Closed) sticky situation..apologize but it’s a LONG one

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

if you invite any of the bridal party’s significant others to the rehearsal dinner or wedding, you should invite her too. how do fi and his gm feel about it? would the gm be really upset if she wasn’t invited? i don’t think it would be worth fi losing his friendship with the gm too, which he might if she isn’t invited.

i can totally understand why you don’t want her there, and that was really mean of her! i think you and fi will have to weigh your relationship with her bf and decide if it’s worth the risk.

Post # 4
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Man she sucks.  The groomsman will likely get pissed if she’s not invited, though.  I’d just have her come to the wedding and seat her at a “bad” table far away from the head table with nobody she knew so she’d be miserable and leave early. 

Post # 5
Member
46335 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If she is a groomsman’s girlfriend, and the other groomsmen’s girlfriends are invited, she needs to be invited also.

Taking the high road is always worth it in life. There will be plenty of people for you to talk to and have fun with. Be civil, but you don’t need to spend any amount of time in her presence.

Post # 6
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t invite her to your shower. As far as the Rehearsal Dinner and wedding go, I think you have to invite her if:  1) you gave the entire bridal party (or the majority of your guests) a date, or 2) she is living with the Groomsmen.

Post # 7
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Could you maybe try talking to her about the things she said?  Give her an opportunity to tell you that she only said those things out of jealousy because she desperately wants to be engaged?  I’m not trying to minimize what she did because it really is pretty crappy, but I don’t know if it’s worth burning bridges for your Fiance over.  I would make sure she knows that you’ve heard what she’s been saying and see what she does. 

I would honestly just be the bigger person and invite her.  She might not come anyway, especially if she knows you’ve heard the terrible things she’s been saying. 

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think your Fiance should talk to his friend, the Boyfriend or Best Friend and Groomsmen. FI should as Groomsmen why ex-MOH said the things she said. Make sure he conveys that you were both really hurt by this and as a result had no other choice other than to ask her to step down and now aren’t sure if you want her to attend the wedding events since she clearly doesn’t support the union. Maybe Groomsmen will agree and still be a Groomsmen without a date. Maybe he can talk some sense into ex-MOH. But at this point, the person you should worry about is the Groomsmen since he is a true friend of your Fiance. 

Post # 10
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Yes, you’ll need to invite her to the Rehearsal Dinner and the wedding, but nothing else if you don’t want to. That being said, I really think that you should call her out on her behavior. “MOH, I heard through the grapevine that you’ve said some terrible things about me, which really hurt my feelings. I’d like to talk to you about how I’ve offended you to warrant that, and see what’s going on. If I have done something, I’d like to see about making it right.”

Post # 12
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

You suck it up and invite her to everything.  She is your Maid/Matron of Honor and you chose her for that position. 

It sucks that she’s acting this way but YOU need to be the bigger and better person in this situation!  Best wishes!

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