Stigma on used clothes

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

 

mrs2014 :  My understanding with car seats is you have no way of knowing if the seat has been compromised in a previous accident. 

Post # 18
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I would have serious issue with that… I wouldnt bite my tounge I loudly state how rediculous, offensive and pretentous they are and I will do what ever I want with MY kids, Mother-In-Law nonsensical hang-ups/issues have no place in my childs upbringing

have you explained that when he ‘mocks’ people who do this he is mocking and bullying you and your family? Id cut that down so fast, I mean who is he to look down on anyone undecided

Post # 19
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

mrs2014 :  car seats deteriorate so have best before dates and also like bike helmets they shouldnt be bought second hand because you dont know if its been weekend in a bump

you also should by new mattresses, using second hand has been heavily linked to SIDs (im not certain why, maybe something to do with dust or bacteria)

you can use second hand strollers/prams though… its wise to check the make though, a few years ago certain prams got pulled from the market due to children losing fingers in the locking system they recalled them but their could still be some on the second hand market

Post # 20
Member
867 posts
Busy bee

waitingtobeemrs14 :  My mom hates used clothes–it’s a pride thing with her, she doesn’t even want to be seen near a thrift store. However, my sisters and I discovered thrift stores a few years back and ladies, when I say that I now buy at least 75% of my clothes thrift, I’m not exaggerating. My mom doesn’t quite understand it and says that we “don’t have to be shopping there” and “we can afford to shop somewhere nice.” (Please dont’ judge my mom too harshly–she’s just a little old-school). I find brand new (still with tags!) pieces of the Loft, Banana Republic and JCrew. I’ll admit, I’m a little girly and really like shopping. And now I can feed my desire for a new outfit every now and then and spend less than I would on a snack. I totally agree that there are some things I would never buy thrift (underwear, clearly used shoes, anything that doesn’t look like-new). 

Post # 21
Member
576 posts
Busy bee

Having just gotten out of the baby phase with my lo, I would say no to most used baby clothes below 1 year. Sorry, but babies just poop everywhere – wash it or not, for some reason, I cannot make peace with this.

Post # 22
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee

waitingtobeemrs14 :  this needs discussing. It suggests a worrying attitude towards people who can’t afford to purchase new things and I would be concerned about what sort of attitude he will be passing on to his/your future children. The only reason kids with second hand stuff get bullied is because of people with your Fiance and MIL’s attitudes. 

Post # 23
Member
14493 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Lordy, I do love thrift shops and consignment shops. We can well afford regular stores but I can’t imagine paying retail for something I can get for so much less. Clothing, furniture, books, decor, I love it all. I don’t understand having a stigma on thrift shops. I can’t do shoes though, I do draw the line there but over half my closet is from thrift shops. Your Mother-In-Law should visit a few around here, I swear rich people dump their whole houses cloths every few months. I find tons of really expensive labels with the tags still on them. 

Maybe start by introducing you Mother-In-Law a Darling Husband to pinterest, such cute ideas on there for thrift store finds. Start them off slow with some reclaimed/refinished something then work them up to cloths. 

Post # 24
Member
8999 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

waitingtobeemrs14 :  It can often be a generational thing passed on coming out growing up dirt poor/living through war/depression. My grandmother was a bit like that. Grew up dirt poor, was stigmatised as a dirty mick when she moved to London (there was often signs in the windows of rooms for rent that would say no blacks, no micks) and then living through WWII where everyone but especially the poor felt the effect. She then did the £10 pom immigration to Australia and started afresh (still poor but had the opportunity to obtain wealth). For her I think wearing 2nd hand clothes was a sign of not being successful and a reminder of being judged and shamed for being poor.

I have seen it in immigrant families many times. It is like a badge of honour for not having to rely on handouts, that you have made it and are not dependent on welfare (which is what a lot of people think of immigrants unfortunately). It is a psychological condition and is very complex and is often rooted in far more than snobbery.

Post # 25
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think that’s really ignorant TBH. There’s nothing shameful about it, period. New everything is just wasteful when there’s so much practically new or actually new with tags clothes at 2nd hand shops. I would just do it and not tell them haha. My future imaginary baby will be dressed in likely 90% used garbs until they figure it out and protest as pre teens 🙂 it’s not like it’s obvious- a garment in good shape is just that, it’s not like they screen print USED on it.

Post # 26
Member
2807 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

waitingtobeemrs14 :  My kids get new stuff for their birthday, christmas, and occasionally when I find stuff deeply discounted. That’s it. We get hand me downs, and I shop at the second hand stores. Nothing I buy there looks old or worn. My kids are dressed stylish, and I don’t think anyone would be the wiser as to where their clothes came from. Besides. My kids destroy at least one to two articles of clothing a week, so I prefer not to throw money away.

I’m willing to bet that your hubby and Mother-In-Law would never know if you had the kids dressed in second hand clothes.

Post # 27
Member
5131 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

I love thrift shops and get a ton of stuff there: clothes, books, games, accessories, furniture and decor. I understand that this can be a generational issue, nowadays “normal” people go to thrift shops to save money and find unique items, even if they can afford new clothes. Back then, I feel like it was more just the people that couldn’t afford anything else. That may be where your SO’s mother is getting this attitude. That, or she’s just a total snob and passed that on to her son. That said, nobody would ever know a clothing item was used unless you told them, it’s not like they’re wearing rags. Having had many yard sales in my life, baby clothes are often one of the most sought after items. They wear them for such a short period of time that it just doesn’t make sense to pay full price for everything. 

Post # 28
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I guess I’m in the minority here. I don’t buy used clothes for myself or Dirty Delete. I don’t look down on people who do, it’s just not for me. And I definitely think there’s a difference between buying clothes that were tried on vs clothes that were worn. I like knowing where my stuff comes from/has been. I have no problem with hand-me-downs, because I know who’s been wearing it. I don’t think it’s pretentious to want clothes that no one else has worn before you. 

Post # 29
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

My SO and I have agreed that we’ll buy used clothes.

I love second hand shopping. you find the most amazing things. 

Post # 30
Member
3326 posts
Sugar bee

Their reaction seems really extreme…..horrified looks and getting upset and shutting down the subject? How about “no thanks?”

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