Stigma on used clothes

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

I am glad he was open to discussion. I am 28ish weeks now. I embraced second hand stores. Kids grow so quickly and I have a good washer that steam cleans, so I am not skittish. My family knows that I appreciate used items and have been thrifting for us. I appreciate it like crazy. I want them to be excited, but to not blow their hard earned money on overpriced new clothes.

I have also accepted a used car seat from my sister. People have valid qualms about used car seats and I agree… you have no way of knowing if they have been in an accident. With my sister I know she has not been in an accident and that she took good care of her items and since the car seat meets current safety standards and has not expired I will use it graciously.

I have read that mattresses settle over time and that is another item that you should not get used. If a mattress settles it is less likely to fit the crib and there may be gaps where baby can get their fingers pinched in. 

Post # 47
Member
2557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - County courthouse

For the first 2 years of my kids lives…most of their clothes were gently used. Most of the clothes we buy our kids are gently used and look great. I’d rather pay $2 for a nice looking pair of jeans or a shirt then pay $10-$15 bucks for it. Makes no sense. You’re fiance and his family sound really stuck up.

Post # 48
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’ll make over 100k this year and 90% of my clothing is second hand, including work clothes. Thrifting is awesome. I can afford new but why waste the money? 

Post # 49
Member
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I have some thrift shopping “rules:”

1) no underwear

2) try to go often and browse the whole store (it doesn’t have to be a super long time in there, but be open minded because you never know what you’ll find)

3) no furniture unless I already have a place to isolate it and spray it down with isopropyl alcohol, and it’s small enough I can somehow cover it airtight in plastic for two weeks until I can spray it again (to ensure no bed bugs or furniture- eating insects are coming home with me)

4) everything else coming in gets thrown in the dryer for 40 minutes. If it can’t be dried, it gets the same treatment as furniture items.

Post # 50
Member
7372 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Diffrent strokes. I probably felt like this until I started going to thrift stores and seeing what great finds I’d get. I also think people feel like this especially with their first child. they just want new. Come 2nd kid, the couldn’t care less. 

Post # 51
Member
9813 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Glad you got it settled!  I don’t have a problem with thift store cothes but I’ve never actually purchased any for my Dear Daughter there.  Mostly because I don’t have the time to troll through thrift stores (when I can order online at work) and because when I have been I’ve never found anything I liked for her (there is a LOT of hideous children’s clothing out there and I get enjoyment out of dressing my Dear Daughter in cute clothes while I still can).  Though I’ll admit I’ve probably only been ~5 times or so in 2-3 years.  However, I’m not against used so I did pick up a few newborn sleepers via FB sales groups and if something caught my eye I would go for it.  And for #2 I got a bag of used clothes from my neighbors garage sale last weekend (they had lots of cute stuff and brands I normally like and the sizing worked out) and the rest are all hand me downs from my friends (both have boys).  So I’ve purchased nothing for this boy so far.  But I LOOOVE buying little girl clothes so I tend to be pickier and only want to buy something I love.  I keep meaning to go over to the stores on the really rich area of town but I really just haven’t found the time, but I would definitely purchase if I found something.  I also bought a used double stroller (bob jogger) because they hold their value well and they’re awesome- $300 instead of $600+ brand new.

Used car seats (unless from a friend) or mattresses would probably be the only thing I’d refuse to buy.

Post # 52
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I guess I am this way too: I just can’t. It grosses me out, I cannot purchase clothing from second hand stores. It freaks me out, I don’t have a good time looking at thrift stores. I know people who love it, and can’t wrap my head around it.

I feel better with new items. 

Post # 53
Member
4883 posts
Honey bee

waitingtobeemrs14 :  That’s weird. There’s a whole industry built on chic used clothes…see PoshMark. I mean certain personal items I wouldn’t buy used but other than that as long as it can be washed it’s fine! I’ve never understood that either, I once dated someone who refused to donate clothes and just threw then in the trash when done with them and they looked pretty new! 

 

I would have a talk with him about the stigma which sounds like our came from his mom. I mean where I live there’s a huge market for vintage and used clothes and there are some rich fancy places here. And even if it’s to save money who cares? I mean it’s better for the environment too. 

Post # 54
Member
4883 posts
Honey bee

waitingtobeemrs14 :  That’s weird. There’s a whole industry built on chic used clothes…see PoshMark. I mean certain personal items I wouldn’t buy used but other than that as long as it can be washed it’s fine! I’ve never understood that either, I once dated someone who refused to donate clothes and just threw then in the trash when done with them and they looked pretty new! 

 

I would have a talk with him about the stigma which sounds like our came from his mom. I mean where I live there’s a huge market for vintage and used clothes and there are some rich fancy places here. And even if it’s to save money who cares? I mean it’s better for the environment too. 

Post # 55
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Half of my wardrobe is second hand from eBay! When I have kids, you can bet that their wardrobes will be full of second hand clothes too! 

My fiancé were actually talking about what we’d need to buy new when we start our family and I said it’ll mainly be  nappies (we’ll be doing cloth), car seat, pram and cot mattress (we’ll definitely buy a second hand cot frame). I’m all about saving that sweet sweet cash and not paying retail when you don’t need to.

Post # 56
Member
411 posts
Helper bee

I used to work donations at a thrift store during undergrad. I got the most amazing stuff; brand-new lululemon coatt (tagss still on), brand new Birks, good condition Uggs, next to new parka jacket. Man I could go on and on, you are absolutely right, there are so many amazing deals and deals and pieces. I’m sorry your hubby is overreacting, I’d straighten that out even if he doesn’t come around on the used clothes.

mrs2014 :  our store wouldn’t take them for liability reasons. Almost any baby product;, strollers, cribs, change tables, car seats etc. Which was unfortunate because we would get a lot of stuff in great condition and couldn’t redistribute any of it.

Post # 57
Member
849 posts
Busy bee

So I’m a mom to a 6 year old and currently pregnant with baby #2, and I have never bought anything used for my daughter or for this baby. Here is my reasoning. First off- I went to a very large consignment sale when my daughter was about 3 months old in search of baby gear, clothes whatever they had. Yes, I did find some nice things, however they were so overpriced. With all the coupons you get from babies R us, Carters, Osh Kosh, Old Navy it’s  cheaper to buy it new.

There was a chicco high chair at this consignement sale- it was in decent condition- they wanted $90 for it- I bought a brand new one on clearance at Target for $65. I just can’t rationalize buying used. I shop a lot at carters- mostly for baby stuff- everything is almost always 40-50% off then you get 20% off with the coupon that they always have- it’s cheaper then buying it used.

I think it’s all in your experiences- my mom was not a garage sale shopper, or a consignment shopper- but she was a bargin shopper- she taught me to use coupons and shop around. So in my experiences I have found that buying new, but with coupons and waiting till the right time have saved me tons! I also didn’t come from a poorer family- my parents are doctors- but my mom did teach me to never pay full price- she was always a very good sale shopper.

As for used car seats- NO WAY!! It’s a safety risk- car seats expire and there is no way to tell if they have been invovled in an accident. It’s not worth the risk. But again- I have found killer deals on car seats on All Bee Baby- no tax, free shipping, and so much cheaper then Target or Babies R us.

 

Post # 58
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Strange! Particularly the vehemence of his opposition. My wedding dress was second hand, and since being a teenager I’ve occasionally bought from charity shops or now eBay. 

Interestingly my husband doesn’t like second hand clothes at all and never buys them, however I think his reasons are different from your husband’s. My husband was one of five boys in a poor household where it was crisp or jam sandwiches for dinner the day before payday because there was no money for anything else. Most of his clothes were hand-me downs from relatives and the bought clothes came from a notoriously cheap and nasty local store that doesn’t exist. For him, working hard and becoming successful was partly about not having to have second best so it has negative associations for him. I come from a well-off background and while I don’t think mum was against hand-me-downs, I had no older siblings or cousins or anything and all my clothes were bought new. 

My husband wouldn’t look down on someone wearing second hand clothes, he’s quite happy for me to do it.

Post # 59
Member
2343 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Oh and more relevantly, my first husband and I had very little money when we had our first (he was a pupil barrister) so she spent most of her first months in blue babygros (onesies) because his pupil master was kind enough to give us a bin bag full of cast-offs from their two sons! 

She was forever being taken for a boy but I couldn’t give a shit. She always looked nicest in blue anyway and as our income rose it remained my favourite colour for her dresses.

 

Post # 60
Member
946 posts
Busy bee

how would your children get made fun of if you don’t shoot your mouth off telling everyone who would listen that those are second hand clothes???

Didn’t know there’s a way to tell new and old clothes apart…tbh.

All of my clothes and toys when I was little were stuff from my older cousins (I don’t have siblings). When I grew up, these same clothes and toys were ‘recycled’ and passed to younger cousins. Now they are worn by my nieces and nephews, probably the fourth or fifth owners, and the clothes are still wearable, because everyone wore them for such a short time before we grew out of them. 

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