Post # 1
Hi everyone, this is a followup to my earlier post here. Me and the hubby were planning on trying to take the higher road but now it’s coming out that SIL is vocal in complaining to other family members that it is irritating her that everyone is talking about our wedding (post event – ppl had a good time on NYE) and not her twin pregnancy.
I admit my feelings are hurt – I didn’t bring up our wedding at any family functions during the holidays and only would talk about it when people would ask me questions prior to the wedding. After the wedding, neither SO or I have really talked about it to anyone except amongst ourselves and to our vendors.
And, not to sound snarky but we sent out our Save-The-Date Cards 18 months in advance, well before SIL and Brother-In-Law got pregnant.
I believe SIL thinks we stole her thunder since people continue to talk about our wedding instead of her pregnancy. Much of this was out of our hands….we can’t control what people choose to talk about let alone get excited about, yet SIL is seemingly blaming us!
After hearing all of this, I am REALLY STRUGGLING to take the high road since I think it’s rewarding bad behavior – my instinct is to be honest, not mean, but to call out them out for being rude and tell them how hurt we are (they still haven’t made any contact nor acknowledged our marriage with even a card).
I suppose in their minds it remains to be all about them and they have sour grapes that the spotlight wasn’t solely on them during the holidays and during her last tri-mester.
There have been lots of great comments ranging from taking the higher road to keeping a cool distance from them at family functions but my question is “Is it worth it to let them know where we stand and how we feel?” Thanks In Advance for all of your support!
Post # 3
I just read the other post to catch up… I can’t believe they did that to you! She’s just making herself look like a crazy b*tch, and I doubt that anyone is taking her very seriously. Talking to them about your feelings will just play into their self-centered nonsense. Hopefully in a while they’ll come to their senses, but until then I’d just keep my distance and not stir the pot, if I were you. Good luck!
Post # 4
In My Humble Opinion, it’s NOT worth it to let them know where you stand & how you feel…I think sharing that right now will only escalate the situation. She’s being the worse person…rise above. The fact that it’s frustrating & irritating proves that it takes greater character to bear. Personally, I don’t think it solves anything to share that info. One just has to hope & pray that the family members they are gossiping to are above her pettiness & realize that it ISN’T your fault & that you’re NOT doing things to rain on their parade.
I know it’s tough (going through a family gossip situation myself – I have 100+ “immediate” family members on my side alone but we’re having an under 70 wedding…that may not be sitting well with my uninvited aunts, uncles, & cousins; but praying they’ll understand)…please hang in there. Feel free to vent on WB or with your new hubby, but, my advice is to NOT confront SIL or Brother-In-Law…preserve familial harmony.
Post # 5
personally i think you need to take a step back and breathe
she is 8mths pregnant with twins and its high risk – my experience is that most women at this stage of their pregnancy can be highly strung plus you are listening to gossip from other people and thats not helping.
i dont see the need for anyone to take the higher road attitude here – she has her priorities and you have yours and just because you are married to the same family doesnt mean you have to be best of friends so i suggest you lower your expectation (ie dont expect anything from her) and you should be happier
Post # 6
I think you should just leave it alone. Right now her hormones are raging due to the pregnacy. I am sure that once the twins are born and just prior she will get plenty of attention; probably more than she will want. Right now she is probably very jealous because I am sure you were a beautiful bride and everyone had an awesome time at your wedding. Her life is changing right now and she probably has some conflicts about it. Maybe offer to take her out for lunch or something. Just let her know that if she needs some help, emotional or otherwise, you are available to her. I am sure that once the babies come she will calm down some after getting situated. She is probably scared and wondering how she is going to be able to take care of her babies once they are here. It is hard to take care of one newborn; let alone two.
Post # 7
I would presume that someone who doesn’t show up for their own brother’s wedding and doesn’t call to follow up probably isn’t that concerned with how you all feel. I would suggest not giving her attention for this (what she clearly wants) and let it go. They are clearly self absorbed. In any event, your brother is the one who should talk to his brother if any discussion is to be had.