Post # 1
So I know this is probably a topic someone already brough up and someone is going to take me for being really materialistic but since my fiance proposed 6 months ago and I keep hoping the ring he got me will grow on me but so far no luck.
My fiance and I are both professionals and he has a great job as an engeneer earning a very good salary. He is trully a wonderfull guy but as soon as he showed me the ring even though the moment was amaizing I felt a tinge of dissapointment. The ring is a half carat solitare in a curved but otherwise plain band.
First of all I will say that I have always loved engagement rings for all the intricate details and having a solitare is the exact thing that I was always hoping I wouldn’t get. Also there is of course I was always hoping to have a little larger of a stone since I do have pretty wide hands, not to mention that there is even a small chip on the bezel (since he got it). And yes being from a circle of professionals among friends all of my friends have gorgeous intricate rings with at least 1 carat stones. And I want to assure people that this is not coming from a place of gold digging since I myself put down the entire 20% downpayment on the house we just bought together last month.
I had once tried to bring up the point that I wanted to add 2 very small stones to the sides of the ring but my fiance got extremely upset/sad noting several times that the ring is a symbol of the engagement and he absolutely hates the idea of me changing something about it. He has been very sensitive about the ring since the start (saying things like “well sorry I got you a bad ring” any time I say anything about it) so I have been trying to pretend that I really like so I don’t hurt his feelings any more but now that we are shopping for wedding bands I am getting more frustrated. Since the band is curved not only can I not buy a band that I can wear alone as well as with the ring (something that I also always wanted) but I can’t even get something nice with stones without making it completely overshadow the engagement ring.
Recently I showed my fiance a ring my friend posted who got engaged and he started asking how come I never posted mine like all my friends do. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I am embarrased compared to what my friends have so I made something up about the ring being for us and not for others but I am really not sure what to do. Every time I look at it I fell dissapointed and everytime someone wants to see it and then gives me a fake polite smile and a “oh it’s..um…..nice” I just sink a little.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2013 - Casa de España
@bzbride2277: could you post a picture of your ring?
Post # 4
@bzbride2277: wow. I would be more upset about the fact that he didn’t know you enough to know what you want. Since it seems like he got you the opposite of what you wanted. I don’t know what to say since it seems like you can’t talk to him about it. Is this how things go with him all the time? Or is it just about the ring that he’s super sensitive with.
Post # 5
im the same but cant say anytihng cos i chose my ring (living in a small town at the time with no real options)
but if i was you id tell him. not that you dont like your ring but maybe “you like another syle a bit better, than you envisioned having for so long” or your ring now just doesnt feel comfortable, gets caught on stuff etc….
id tell him. good luck
Post # 6
Just a heads up– you are going to get a ton of negative responses about how your Fiance tried so hard to get/pick out the ring and you should just get over it and sacrafice something you want to make him happy. Im with you sister, I’d be upset too! But thats where this will go.
Post # 7
If you dont like the ring, and your financial situation allows you to upgrade, go for it!
No sense in wearing a ring you don’t like.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
Have you asked him why he chose that ring? why that size etc etc? Is there a story behind it? Id approach it that way. Hopefully 2 things could happen, you fall in love with the story and then the ring or your Fiance realises he maybe didnt put too much thought into what you like and you guys upgrade.
Post # 9
@FoxyBride14: It’s really just him being sensitive about ring, and I guess just symbolical things surrounding the wedding, otherwise usually he is very openminded.
Post # 10
If your friends didn’t have nicer rings, would you feel the same way? Is the stone too small for you or do you just not like solitaires? (I’m not a fan of solitaires myself, so I get it.. we all have our own tastes)
If it’s just too small for you, and he doesn’t want you to upgrade, why not add eternity bands on top and bottom? That could really add some sparkle and be quite beautiful.
Post # 11
@bzbri Do you not like the ring because you’re embarrassed that others think its too small or do you not like it because it just really honestly isn’t your style? I have a half carat engagement ring and I have a beautiful wedding band that doesn’t over shadow the stone and can be worn alone. I understand your frustration with not having the ring you want, but maybe try to look at it as less than something to show off and more as something to be proud of because the man you love picked it out and put it on your finger. If you keep living life comparing yourself to others, nothing will ever make you happy. I hope you can try to see your ring in a new light and if you can’t, you need to have a real and honest conversation with your Fiance. I hope it all works out for you!
Post # 12
It sounds like you have the perfect opportunity to choose a very detailed and intricate wedding band! And, being a plain solitaire, you will have ENDLESS options (no tricky curves to get around!). It might be better to leave the ring as is, if changing it is going to cause issues, but just get an AMAZING wedder! I’m pretty sure you can also get enhancers:
Post # 13
I would tell him that the ring is just not your style and you need to pick out a new one. I’m sorry it hurts his feelings but he will move on. My SO is very concerned about getting me the ring I will love to wear forever. I give you props for trying to make it work for 6 months but it’s time to get a different one.
Post # 14
@bzbride2277: Oh I feel bad for you:( You should really love that ring! If I was you, I’d tell him…I may get raked over the coals for this but I couldn’t wear something everyday I didn’t care for. I think he’s sensitive when you bring it up because he knows he could’ve come closer to the ring you really wanted. I think you should speak up, in a loving way of course.
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@bzbride2277: Well … I would give him some time. Maybe do something that makes it actually sound like it is his idea. It sounds like he does not like the idea of disappointing you and he knows that. Give him some time and he may come around eventually. I don’t really know what else to say because I do think he thought he tried hard, but at the same time, as a pp stated, he didn’t know you well enough to know what kind of jewellery you like.
I am personally really particular with my jewellery and my guy knows it so he has listened to everything that I have said because I am so picky. I would still wear it though …
Post # 16
@stuckinwonderland: The biggest thing I really am not a fan of solitares. And yes I know that everyone is going to say that it’s about me and not anyone else but I do feel somewhat embarassed when I see all the girls around who got engaged recently compare their rings because mine doesn’t really compare. I wish it wasn’t the case but it is. Although as I mentioned in the original post I did want to just enhance the ring detail by just adding 2 tiny stones into the band but my fiance opposed it and just seemed to get really upset.